(A customer walks up to counter and sets down a bag from a competitor’s store, pulls out the competitor’s receipt, and starts unloading books with the competitor’s sticker on them.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t take these back here. We’re [Bookstore].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “These books are from [Competitor]. I can’t do this return.”

Customer: “But don’t you have a store by the mall?”

Me: “We do have a location a few blocks away from the mall, but the store inside the mall is actually [Competitor].”

Customer: “So, you won’t take these back for me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since they weren’t purchased from us. You’ll need to take them back to [Competitor] and they’ll be able to help you.”

Customer: *surprised* “I thought all bookstores were the same!”

This story is part of the Extreme Refunders roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Thrift Store Customers, From The Cheapskates To The Morons

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Read the Extreme Refunders roundup!

(It’s a couple months after the winter holidays and I’m working self-scan check-outs. My store offers everything from food to electronics. A woman flags me over to her self-scan.)

Customer: “These scented candles are supposed to be on clearance.”

(The candles are scented gingerbread. Holiday items are extremely discounted and the candles are clearly ringing up at full price.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, let me fix that for you.”

(I begin to fix the price on the six or so candles she’s buying as she begins to bag up the rest of her items. She comes up to me a moment later.)

Customer: “Have you smelled these? They smell awful. You would think they would smell better.”

Me: “No, I haven’t smelled them.”

Customer: *offers a candle* “You should smell them.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Go ahead. Smell it.”

Me: *reluctantly taking a whiff* “I really don’t smell anything at all, ma’am. Do you not want the candles if they smell bad?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I still want them.” *she bags the rest up*

(I finish changing the prices and help her finish bagging. My thoughts still turn to the candles.)

Me: “Why are you buying them if you think they smell bad?”

Customer: “Because they’re on clearance! You can’t pass up on these prices!”

(I know customers like this who feel strongly about deals but I’m still stuck on why she would still want so many even though she clearly doesn’t like the smell.)

Me: “But what will you do with them?”

Customer: *pause* “I think I’ll give them to my sister… I don’t really like her either.”

(I am purchasing a Metallica t-shirt. I am a 23-year-old female, but I look much younger.)

Cashier: “A Metallica shirt? Aren’t you looking for a Bieber shirt?”

Me: “Eew. No. I listen to Metallica.”

Cashier: “I doubt that.”

Me: “I don’t really care. Just let me buy my shirt.”

Cashier: “You’re too young to be listening to Metallica, little girl.”

Me: “First off, why do you care what I listen to? Second, I’m a 23-year-old woman. Just let me buy my shirt.”

Cashier: “I bet you can’t name five songs.”

Me: “If I do, will you let me buy my shirt?”

Cashier: “I bet you can’t.”

Me: “‘Battery,’ ‘Ain’t My B****,’ ‘Seek and Destroy,’ ‘One,’ and ‘Through the Never.’ And guess what? Those are all on different albums. ‘Battery’ is from Master of Puppets, ‘Ain’t My B***’ is from Load, ‘Seek and Destroy’ is from Kill ‘Em All, ‘One’ is from And Justice for All, and ‘Through the Never’ is from The Black Album. Give me my shirt, and let me talk to your manager.”

(I buy my shirt, and the manager gives me 25% off for my trouble with his idiot cashier.)

(I’m in a civilization class. We’re talking about ancient people of the Mediterranean.)

Teacher: “…and it’s suggested that some practiced homosexuality.”

Student #1: “Ew!”

Student #2: *to Student #1* “Really?”

Teacher: “If you have a problem with that, you’re not really going to like when we discuss the more warlike cultures. They believed having such relations on the battlefield made them better warriors.”

(The class, while not disgusted like Student #1, still takes a few seconds to try to figure out that logic. Then, one of the more spaced-out students speaks up.)

Student #3: “Does that mean prisoners could be considered great warriors?”

Teacher: “I’m not going to answer that.”

(I am working the pay window of the drive-thru. The terminal we run credit cards in displays the name on the card when a card is run. In the middle of a transaction for a customer, I notice something peculiar about his name.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I almost laughed at your name.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Do you know the Legend of Zelda series?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your last name is similar to ‘Ganondorf,’ the main villain.”

(The customer lets out a loud laugh similar to the one Ganondorf makes in one of the games.)

Customer: “At last we meet, Link!”

(He took his credit card and receipt before driving off.)