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Please Do Not Pet The Managers

, , , , , , , | Right | June 17, 2020

I shop at a dollar store near my house frequently. I know pretty much all the employees, and they know me and my service dog. I’m in one day and the manager happens to be ringing me out.

The customer behind me sees my service dog and leans down to pet him.

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch him.”

Customer: “Oh, come on! He’s so cute!”

Me: “Yes, and he’s working. Please leave him alone.”

Customer: “You can’t control me! If I want to pet him, I’ll pet him! I don’t care if he’s working!”

The manager speaks up.

Manager: “I’m cute, too. Will you pet me?

The customer looks at him: a six-foot, heavily-built man.

Customer: “Well… I… Hmph!”

Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought. If you ain’t gonna pet me, you ain’t gotta pet a working dog.”

And that’s part of why I always shop there!

This story is part of our Service Animals roundup!

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This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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The Teacher Became A Whole Different Person

| Learning | August 28, 2014

(I’m about seven, and my brother is a year older. We look very alike, and both our names start with the same letter. My parents get home from parents’ evening with my teacher, who’s been picking on me since term started a couple months ago. My mum looks outraged, my dad near laughing.)

Brother: “How was it?”

Mum: “Your teacher was fine. You just need to go over your reading book more at home. But, [My Name]’s teacher—”

(She’s cut off as Dad starts laughing.)

Dad: “She started going on and on about how you don’t pay attention in class, don’t use your full potential, and just as your mother is about to argue with her she says ‘it’s no wonder he had to repeat the year!'”

(Dad starts laughing again.)

Mum: “That stupid cow thought you were [Brother]! Moaning about kids not paying attention and she doesn’t even notice you’re a different person!”

(That teacher suddenly became a whole lot nicer to me in class!)

Senseless Sensitivity

| Working | July 9, 2013

(A regular patron of mine has severe difficulty walking and uses crutches. I’m friendly with him so he comes over to say hello, we have a little talk and he heads on inside happy as usual. Shortly afterward, my supervisor calls me into the back office. He looks angry.)

Supervisor: “We’ve had a complaint about your behaviour.”

Me: “Oh, really? What’s wrong?”

Supervisor: “You mocked a disabled customer and called him a derogatory slur.”

Me: “I… what? We talk all the time; there’s never been a problem. Did he complain? What was the slur?”

(My supervisor squirms uncomfortably.)

Supervisor: “Well, there wasn’t any actual complaint. I was passing, and I thought it really sarcastic and rude that you called him ‘Mr. Walker’ when he’s disabled. Why would you call him that?”

(I can’t help it; I let out a short laugh.)

Supervisor: “This isn’t a laughing matter! I could have you fired for this.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I see where you’re coming from. No, that’s his actual name: Mr. [first name] Walker.”

Supervisor: “…Couldn’t you call him something else?”

Me: “Something that’s not his name? I’m afraid he doesn’t like being called ‘sir’, or by his first name.”

Supervisor: “Could you not call him anything at all?”

Me: “I don’t understand. Like, ‘Hey, you’, or just ignore him completely?”

Supervisor: “Yes. Either of those.”

Me: “…”

Knot Possible

, | Right | May 14, 2013

(I work in the lumber department of my store. I spot an older customer, studying our 2×4 lumber. She looks very sour.)

Me: “Hi there, ma’am. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a 2×4, but I don’t want one with knots.”

Me: “Well, that’s going to be tricky with these. Just about every one that I’ve ever seen has a least a few knots here and there.”

Customer: “No, I need one with no knots. I’m working on a project and if there are knots, the wood will break.”

Me: “Well, I have some pieces of pine select; no knots in them at all!”

Customer: “Oh, I looked at those. They’re too expensive; I’m on a pension you know. What about that one up there? It looks clean.”

(The customer points to a fresh lift of lumber, and it indeed looks clean, but the home is full.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m willing to bet that they’ll have just as many knots as this lift.”

Customer: “Show me!”

(I begin the process of getting a driver, and pulling down the lift. Due to the fact that I have to close down the main lumber aisle to due so, two assistant managers are watching me. As they watch, I open the lift and start sorting through the pieces, showing the older lady that they all have knots in them.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

(After she leaves, one of the managers walks over to me.)

Manager: “What was wrong with the wood?”

Me: “She didn’t want any knots in her 2×4.”

Manager: “Yeah, find a tree without branches and we’ll give her a 2×4 without knots.”

Extreme Jumping To Conclusions

| Right | November 12, 2014

(As an airline employee, you are eligible for staff travel. The airline I work for has the rule that you can only travel if there is a seat available at the gate. We are in Spain, and we already know that the flight is pretty full. We also know that the aircraft is a Boeing 747, and on such a short flight (a little over two hours) there is the minimum required crew on board, so there are multiple jump seats (flight attendant seats) empty. The colleagues decide to take us home on a jump seat. We are moved to different jump seats during the flight, because we are in the way in the pantry and in the aisles during the dinner and beverage service. The passengers see us walking through the aisle with our belongings several times.)

Passenger: “Hey… what is going on? Are they moving you again?”

Me: *joking* “Yeah, they have just found out they don’t have a seat for us after all, so they are now taking us to the back to give us a parachute…”

Passenger: *shocked* “Oh, my God! Are you serious? That is terrible!”

(We sit down in the back pantry and have a good laugh with the colleagues.)

Me: “Did she think I was serious? If so, she is pretty gullible!”

(After landing, we see the concerned passenger at baggage reclaim. She comes up to me, all cheerful and happy.)

Passenger: “Oh, how wonderful! You made it to Amsterdam! They let you stay on board after all!”

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