(I’m currently attending college in a very small town. I receive an assignment requiring me to carve a pumpkin. Finding proper tools turn out to be a challenge. I end up biking several miles over hilly country roads to a small hardware store in the next town over, so I arrive disheveled and over-heated. The place is empty save for a guy who seems to be the owner and an employee. Judging by the dust, they haven’t restocked anything since the 90s.)

Employee: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Me: “Yes, I’m looking for something I could use to carve a pumpkin.”

Employee: “Well, I’m afraid we don’t carry much household stuff. Have you looked in [other hardware store, some miles away]?”

Me: “Actually, I biked here, so I haven’t gone anywhere else yet.”

Employee: “Okay, well, we could try over here.”

(Together, we scour the shelves of odd miscellaneous items, their formerly bright packaging faded with age.)

Me: “Oh, well… I guess I’ll look over at your other tools there. Thanks for the help!”

(I move off and begin looking at the main hardware section, without success. The owner comes up behind me. He’s tall, bearded, and somewhat imposing. He holds a somewhat rusty, large, serrated knife.)

Owner: “Hey, how about you take this? It’s a drywall knife, and it should work well. I’ve got three of ’em, so I won’t miss this one!”

(Beaming, I accept his kind offer and bike home triumphantly. Kind people like that make the world a much more tolerable place!)

(I work at a small movie theater, selling tickets. We are on a slow day one month before the first “Iron Man” movie’s theatrical release. A tired looking man in his 50s shows up at the register.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

Man: *Looking right thru me* “Iron Man!”

Me: “Oh, you want to see the upcoming Iron Man movie? I am sorry but this title will only be released next mo…”

Man: “Iron Man!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you may be too early to see Iron Man. This movie is not released in France yet. It isn’t even scheduled for now. The movies planned today are…”

Man: “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG? I WANT TO SEE IRON MAN!”

(At this point, I don’t know if I am upset or amused by this ridiculous situation.)

Me: “Again, sorry, sir. This title will not be screened before next month.”

Man: “I want to see Iron Man!”

Me: “Yes, you stated that clearly.”

(For half a minute, we stare at each other awkwardly.)

Man: “How many for Iron Man?”

Me: *exasperated* “I CANNOT sell you tickets for a show that IS NOT scheduled yet.”

(My manager, working in a room nearby, must have heard me raise my voice. He stormed out of his office and takes me away from the register.)

Manager: *quietly to me* “You must inform and serve the customer with respect. Go on break. I take care of him”

Me: “Seriously…”

Manager: *To the customer* “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

Man: “Iron Man!”

(I decided to take my “break” in the room nearby. I heard my manager struggling to explain over and over again that Iron Man was not screened today. The customer finally left and my confused manager apologized to me.)

(I work at a somewhat upscale clothing store. Lately customers have been coming in and refusing to even acknowledge my greeting, let alone let me help them.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you what I’m looking for.”

Me: “Okay. If you need anything let me know.”

(Customer proceeds to look around for about 20 minutes. I check on her several more times. She lets on that she is looking for something specific to wear to a graduation. She will not tell me what it is.)

Customer: *leaving* “Well, I guess you just don’t carry cardigans anymore!”

Me: “Yes, we do! They are right here on this table! What size or color would you like?”

Customer: “White, medium.”

Me: “That was pretty fast, right?”

Customer: “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to try to SELL me anything.”

Me: “Then why are you shopping?”

(A guy sits down at the bar and asks for a virgin bloody mary.)

Me: “One virgin mary, right away.”

(I turn around to make the drink.)

Customer: “But no fruit.”

(I turn back around to confirm the order.)

Me: “One virgin bloody mary, no fruit.”

Customer: *nods*

(I turn around again to go and make the drink.)

Customer: “And not spicy.”

Me: “So, you would like a glass of tomato juice?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. A glass of tomato juice.”

(We are learning about something called “hindsight bias” in psychology class, in which the solution to a puzzle or problem seems obvious in retrospect.)

Instructor: “Take this anagram (‘OCHSA’) for example. If I were to tell you the answer, you’d think, ‘In retrospect, I could have figured that out in about 10 seconds,’ but it actually takes around three minutes to solve.”

(A student raises his hand.)

Instructor: “Yes, [student]?”

Student: “It’s CHAOS.” *pauses* “In retrospect, I did figure that out in about ten seconds.”

Instructor: “[Student], please refrain from ruining my examples in the future.” *addressing the class* “Okay, MOST students would have taken about three minutes. Any other questions?”