Great stories from our entire backlog!
Customer: “Two for [Movie].”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that film at this theater.”
Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”
Me: “I’m not sure. The decisions on where to play the films are made by corporate.”
Customer: “But I’m here and I want to watch that movie.”
Me: “Well, I can sell you a ticket to another movie.”
Customer: “But I want to see that one! Can’t you just go get it? I’ll wait here.”
(The store I work at sells chocolate liqueurs. Because they are alcoholic, I cannot sell them to anyone who doesn’t have an ID on them. A couple of young women come up, and seeing the liqueurs by the register, put a couple in with their purchase.)
Me: “I’ll need to see some ID for those.”
Customer: “Oh, I left my ID in the car.”
Me: “I can hold onto your stuff while you go get it.”
Customer: “I don’t want to go all the way to my car and back!”
Me: *moving the liqueurs aside* “All right. I’ll just put those back, then.”
Customer: “But, I want them.”
Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”
Customer: “It’s in the car!”
Me: “I can hold your stuff for you while you go get it.”
Customer: “Look, I LOOK old enough to drink, don’t I?”
Me: “Yes…”
(Smiling, the woman nudges the liqueurs back into her pile of stuff. I promptly nudge them back out.)
Me: “My underage sister LOOKS old enough, as well.”
Customer: “But I want those!”
Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”
Customer: “It’s in the CAR!”
Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name and Location]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what time you closed? I need to bring in my computer monitor and exchange it for a new one.”
Me: “We close at nine. If you don’t mind my asking, why do you need to exchange yours, ma’am? I may be able to help and save you the trip.”
Customer: “Well, I saw that you all sold those wireless monitors and was going to get one but they’re so expensive. So I just decided to make mine a wireless one instead. But I guess I must have done it wrong because now it won’t work.”
Me: “You… tried to make your monitor into a wireless one? How?”
Customer: “Oh, I just cut the cord that was dangling out of it. Like I said, I must have cut it wrong though. So I need a new one.”
Me: “I… see. Well, um, ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but, well, I can’t just give you a new monitor because you destroyed your old one.”
Customer: “Really? Well. We’ll just see about that, won’t we? I’m going to come in and speak to your manager. Then we’ll see who does what for whom!”
(She came in with her self-destroyed monitor, and no, she didn’t get a new one!)
(I am helping a lady pick a bracelet for herself. She has kept her phone on my table.)
Customer: “Yes, this one will do nicely.”
Me: “Great! So you will be buying this one?”
Customer: “Yup. You have some nice collections here. Thanks for all your help.”
(She picks up her phone, puts it in her pocket, and I proceed to check her out. Suddenly, she starts looking for something.)
Me: “Ma’am, are you missing something?”
Customer: “Yes, my phone! I had kept it right on this table here.”
Me: “Oh, I think you kept that in your pocket a few minutes ago.”
Customer: “No! I would have remembered if I did. You stole it!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but you are mistaken. I was with you the entire time. Why don’t you check your pocket?”
Customer: “No way! So you can steal something else? I know you sort of people. You appear all nice outside, while you steal from paying customers like me! I will report you to the police!”
Me: “How about I call your phone from my phone, so you can find it?”
(We try my suggestion, and sure enough her phone rings from her pocket.)
Customer: “Uhm… I…”
(She goes red in the face and disappears. She returns a couple of days later with a gift card for me. She apologizes for her behavior, and for my trouble, and goes away. To that lady, if she happens to read this: we all make mistakes, but it is rare that we accept our mistakes. Thank you for doing so, and making my day!)
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.
(I am sitting in a diner. A man, a teenage girl, a woman, and a few other diners are sitting there eating. Suddenly, the woman falls down and starts having a seizure.)
Man: “Everybody back. I know what to do. I’ll start CPR. Somebody call an ambulance.”
(He kneels next to the woman, whose head was cut on a railing when she fell and is bleeding, and gets ready to start CPR. Suddenly, the teenage girl yells out.)
Teenage Girl: “NO! STOP! Don’t do CPR!”
(She runs over.)
Teenage Girl: “Sir, move over and let me help.”
Man: “Little girl, you don’t know what you’re doing. Get out of the way and let me start CPR!”
Teenage Girl: *shoves him out of the way* “You don’t do CPR on a seizure patient.”
(She moves the woman away from the railing and cushions her head. It’s obvious she knows what she’s doing.)
Man: “Someone grab this b****! I need to start CPR before it’s too late!”
(He pulls the girl away and she fights back. By the time she gets free, the woman has stopped seizing. The girl puts her on her side and starts giving first aid. The woman starts breathing again and turns onto her back.)
Teenage Girl: “It’s over. I told you she didn’t need CPR.”
Man: “Okay, so you were right. Move over; I’ll take over now. I know what to do.”
Teenage Girl: “No chance, mister. She’s post-ictal, and you need to stay back in case she gets combative.”
(Luckily, the woman doesn’t start fighting. As the teenage girl keeps talking to her and takes her pulse, she eventually starts responding.)
Woman: “I’m [Woman].”
Teenage Girl: “Hi. I’m [Teenage Girl]. Do you remember what happened?”
Woman: “Yeah, I laid down, and then I woke up like this.”
Man: “YOU HAD A HEART ATTACK! You’ve got to remember that!”
Teenage Girl: “You had a seizure; it’s all right to not remember it. Does anything hurt?”
Woman: “Just my back and my neck.”
Teenage Girl: “All right. I’m going to ask you to lie still; you may have injured your back. You’re doing fine. Oh, here comes the ambulance.”
(The paramedics walk in with a stretcher and lift the woman onto it.)
Medic #1: “What happened here?”
Man: “I’ll tell you what happened. This lady fell over and started having a heart attack, and this little b**** wouldn’t let me do CPR. I’m amazed the woman survived. You should have her arrested! She could’ve killed someone!”
Teenage Girl: “No, it was a seizure. Lasted about 90 seconds; she fell and sustained a laceration to her head. I’d look at that and possible concussion. Post-ictal about two minutes, seems mostly oriented and is answering questions, pulse slightly elevated, no memory of the event. She did state she’s having some back and neck pain and she fell hard, so I’d take spinal precautions.”
Man: “Just listen to her! Pretending she knows what she’s doing! I’m calling the police!”
Medic #2: “Actually, she does know what she’s doing. Pretty well, in fact.”
Man: “And how exactly do you know that?”
Medic #2: “Because we’re going to be working on the same ambulance on her shift tonight.” *high-fives teenage girl*
(The teenage girl was in fact at EMT! The man was banned from the diner and arrested for grabbing the girl.)
