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Your Urgency Is Not My Emergency, Part 2

| Right | October 12, 2012

(It is approximately five minutes past closing time at our drugstore. While my manager and I are counting the cash drawers, a man begins frantically banging on the doors and yelling at us.)

Customer: “Why are your doors locked?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed for the evening. We close at 9 and it is now almost 10 minutes past.”

Customer: “But I just need one thing! It’s an emergency!”

(I look over at my manager who sighs and nods. He puts one of the cash drawers back into the register while I unlock the door and let the man in.)

Customer: “You’re lucky you decided to unlock that door! I was about to break it down!”

Me: “What is it that you need? I can help you find—”

(The man pushes past me. After waiting for a few minutes, my manager is fed up.)

Manager: *yells toward the back of the store* “Sir? What is it that you need? Sir?”

(There’s no response from the customer, so my manager starts to head back to find him. They nearly collide at the end of an aisle.)

Customer: “Hey, watch it! I got what I need. Why are you so impatient?”

Manager: “Because we are supposed to be on our way home by now! My children are waiting for me to read them a bedtime story. Please pay for your items and be mindful of the store hours from now on.”

Customer: “Don’t talk to me like that! I’m a paying customer!”

(The man comes up to my register and drops his items on the counter: a bottle of personal lubricant, a bag of chips, and a bottle of wine. The customer pays and leaves. My manager is fuming.)

Manager: “THAT WAS THE BIG EMERGENCY?!”

 

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Sticking It Out

| Right | January 13, 2014

(It is the late 1990s. I’m a cashier for a major home improvement store. We have been taught how to spot the various tricks people might use to try to pay less for merchandise than the actual prices. One night, an assistant manager came up to me about 10 minutes before closing time, as I was the only register open.)

Manager: “Keep your eyes open. We’ve got a customer who’s up to no good.”

Me: “You think he’s trying to make a grab?”

Manager: “Yeah, and he’s not exactly being subtle about it. I’ve been watching him roaming the aisles. Just be on your toes.”

(A few minutes later, said customer approaches the registers. I call him over.)

Me: “Evening, sir.”

Customer: “Hi. Just this, please.”

(He hands me a utility lamp that I scan. Just by looking at my monitor I can tell what he’s up to.)

Me: “Wait. That can’t be right.”

Customer: “No. It says $4.99, then that’s the price!”

(The price is one thing, but the monitor shows that I’ve scanned in a $4.99 house plant from the garden area.)

Me: “Sir, you’re buying a lamp, not a plant.”

(A quick inspection confirms what I suspected, that he’s taken the UPC sticker off a lower priced item and covered the lamp’s UPC with it. His mistake was what he took the sticker from. I peel the sticker off and re-scan the lamp, showing the correct $24.95 price.)

Customer: “No. You’ve got to let me have it for the other price you scanned in!”

(During training, we were also told never to confront or accuse a suspected shoplifter, to leave that to a manager.)

Me: “Sir, even though the wrong bar code wound up on this by some error, I have to charge you the right price for the right item.”

Customer: *sighs* “Fine. I’ve got to go check something out. Be right back.”

Me: “Okay, but we close in a few minutes.”

Customer: “Yeah, fine. I’ll put this back….”

(The whole time, I’ve had my hand on the lamp in case he tries to take it and run.)

Me: “No, sir. That’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

(The customer goes back into the aisle. The assistant manager has been nearby watching the whole thing, and follows him, but passes by me first.)

Manager: “Nice catch. I’ll make sure your supervisor hears about this one.”

(Less than two minutes later, he’s ushering the customer to the exit.)

Customer: “Man, I didn’t do anything!”

Manager: “Yeah, ’cause I have a cashier who knows what he’s doing!”

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A Pint-Sized Understanding

| Right | April 5, 2014

Customer: “I’ll just take a pint, please.”

Me: “Sure, what would you like a pint of?”

Customer: “I just want a pint.”

Me: “Yes. but what would you like?”

Customer: “I want a pint. You work in a bar. How do you not know what a pint is?”

Me: “Sorry. A pint is a unit of measurement; I am just asking what you would like a pint of.”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! JUST GIVE ME A PINT!”

Me: “Of course.”

(I got him a pint of water. He was not happy.)

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Beyond The Call Of Duty

| Right | October 11, 2011

(I work at a video rental store that carries some adult movies in a side/back room. I am busy sorting our dropbox of movies when a older gentleman approaches my male coworker.)

Customer: “These [adult] movies didn’t work.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you want to grab a couple others to replace them?”

Customer: “No, you do it for me. These didn’t work.”

(I check the computer system for replacement copies.)

Me: “Well, these are the only copies of these movies, but you can go get two others for free today.”

Customer: “You go find two for me. I want ones that work. You go pick them out.”

Me: “You want me to go get you two replacements?”

Customer: “Yes, you.”

(I go into the back room and chooses two movies for the customer. I then clean the new movies and check out the customer.)

Me, to coworker: *after the customer leaves* “Please tell me you heard what he had me do.”

Coworker: “Did you just go pick out p*rn for him?”

Me: “Yeah. How weird.”

Coworker: *laughing* “I’d just grab the first two I found.”

Me: “I couldn’t! I had to find ones that were a similar theme.”

Coworker: “Awkward.”

Me: “Totally.”

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Pass(word) The Buck

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2010

Customer: “I hear you are the go-to girl for computer problems.”

Me: “Yes, I am.” *I scoot over to the computer* “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “I can’t remember my password.”

Me: “I don’t know your password.”

Customer: “So they lied when they told me you knew everything about the computers?”


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