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Time For An Allergic Retraction

, , | Right | October 2, 2009

Customer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”

Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”

Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”

Customer: “That would be great.”

(I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”


This story is part of our roundup about people lying about their health! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

13 Reasons Why Healthcare Workers Should Rule The World

 

Read the next story in this roundup here!

Read the roundup itself here!

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One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Half-Measure

, , , | Legal Right | November 4, 2009

(I’ve finished ringing up a customer with a cart full of booze and cigarettes.)

Me: “Your total today is $498.34.”

(The customer pulls out a check that has been taped together, having obviously been ripped in half at some point. It even has VOID written on it. He proceeds to scratch out the information on the check and write in our store name and the amount).

Me: “You know I can’t take that check, right?”

Customer: “This is my check, and you take checks for payment. You are going to take this d*** check!”

(The customer gives me the check.)

Me: “I can’t approve this. Let me get my manager.”

(I go and get my manager.)

Manager: “Can I see your driver’s license, please?”

Customer: “Whatever. Here.”

Manager: “I need to make a copy of this, just a minute.”

(The name on the check and the driver’s license don’t match, so the manager returns with security.)

Manager: “If you would come with me to our office, the police will be here soon.”

Customer: “It’s my d*** check! I found it in the trash!”

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Always Right, Even When Trafficking People

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Home Improvement Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I was just wondering how much your Mexicans are?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Your Mexicans. The ones you have outside in the parking lot. I need some work done on my roof and I wanted to come pick up a couple.”

Me: “Ma’am… first of all, they are called day laborers. Secondly, they don’t belong to us. They don’t belong to anyone, actually; they are people. Third, our city prohibits soliciting work in a shopping center, so we actually don’t have any workers in the parking lot. If you need work done–”

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just shop somewhere else!” *hangs up*

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Back To The Future

| Right | September 17, 2013

(I work in a store based around ‘The Old West,’ where the salespeople wear clothing reminiscent of the era. Halfway through the shift, a boy and girl around eight years old run into the store and up to me.)

Boy: *urgently* “What year is it?”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “What year is it??”

(I wonder for a moment if this is a trick question, and if I’m supposed to answer according to ‘The Old West’ theme.)

Me: “1826.”

Boy: “Are you sure?”

Me: *pulling out my old style pocket watch* “Pretty sure. Last time I checked it was 1826.”

Boy: *distraught, to the girl* “It didn’t work!”

Me: “Why? What answer were you expecting?”

Girl: “Somewhere in the 4000s!”

(They run out of the store and don’t come back.)

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Ink-conceivable

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2010

Customer: “Does this printer use ink?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And I have to buy the ink separate?”

Me: “Yes, once the ink runs out. It actually costs quite a bit compared to the two dollars this used printer is priced at.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want that. Where can I get a printer that doesn’t use ink?”


This story is included in our impossible requests roundup!

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