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Companies Will Pay For Not Paying Attention

| Working | February 28, 2013

(I am 26 but look younger so I often get asked for I.D. when buying alcohol. I place a packet of ravioli, a jar of sauce and a bottle of Shiraz on the counter.)

Cashier: “Can I see your I.D. please?”

Me: “Ah, I think I’ve forgotten it today. I’ll just pay for the pasta and sauce then. Do you want me to put the wine back on the shelf?”

Cashier: “I’m afraid you look under 21 and without your I.D., I can’t sell you any alcohol.”

Me: “Oh, I know; that’s okay. Just the pasta and sauce, then.”

Cashier: “I’m afraid I am going to have to refuse to sell you the alcohol. It would be a felony and I would be fired or worse.”

Me: “I understand that completely; of course I don’t want you to get in trouble. Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t need to buy the wine now, so I’ll just pay for the pasta and sauce.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 26, but I have nothing on me that proves it and as I said, I’m not trying to get you in trouble.”

Cashier: *rolls her eyes* “If you wish, I can call my manager.”

Me: “Well, if you think it’s best, but it’s really not a big deal. I don’t need to buy the wine.”

Cashier: *calls a manager*

Manager: “What seems to be the situation?”

Cashier: “This lady is trying to buy alcohol but has no ID. She insisted on speaking to you.”

Me: “Hang on—”

Manager: “Miss, I’m afraid it’s store policy to refuse sale of alcohol to anyone who looks under 21 and has no I.D.”

Me: “I understand that completely! It’s no problem; I’ll just leave the wine and pay for the pasta and sauce!”

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to not get belligerent. You have no I.D. and you appear under 21 and to sell you alcohol would be a felony.”

(As he says this, I can see him catch the eye of a security guard.)

Me: “Oh, for God’s sake! Just listen: I am putting the wine aside; all I want to do is buy the ravioli and the sauce! Can I please just pay for them and be on my way? And never come back, might I add!”

Manager: “I apologise for the inconvenience but, as I have stated, it is a felony.”

Me: “Forget it. I’ll get a take-away!”

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How To Spot A Smoking Gun

| Right | March 5, 2015

(I manage a tobacco store and the law says we cannot sell any tobacco products to anyone under 18 and MUST card if customer looks under 30. A young girl and older woman enter store and at the door the young girl hands cash to older woman. Right away I know that she is underage and older woman is buying for her which is illegal. I know I cannot sell at this point but let them come in to see how it goes down.)

Me: “Hello, how are you? What can I get for you today?”

(Both stand there staring intently at the cigarette display without speaking. After a solid minute I ask the older woman:)

Me: “What brand do you normally smoke?”

(She turns to young girl and says:)

Woman: “Well? What do you smoke?”

(I immediately address the young girl and ask for I.D.)

Woman: *very rudely* “I’m buying them, not her!”

(I state that now I know she is buying for a minor I legally cannot sell either one cigarettes.)

Girl: *starts screaming at woman* “Grandma! WHY DID YOU ASK ME THAT? Now I can’t get my smokes!”

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One More Puke On The Path To Recovery

, , , | Right | July 8, 2009

(I’m a female working in a gas station and it’s close to midnight. The customer is obviously drunk, which means I can’t sell him alcohol.)

Customer: “You’re the kind of pretty thing I’m not allowed to touch.

(He proceeds to our beer cooler and takes one bottle out of a six-pack.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t sell you that for two reasons. One, you are obviously drunk and store policy says you can’t buy alcohol. Two, if you were sober it would have to be the whole six-pack or nothing.”

Customer: *stares at me for 30 seconds and then pukes on his coat*

Customer: “Am I sober enough now?”

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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Directionless Call

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2010

Me: *answering phone* “How may I direct your call?”


Me: “Hello?”

(After repeating this a few times, I hear fumbling on the other end.)

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, sir. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong number.”

Me: “But… you called me.”

This story is part of our Hilarious Wrong Number roundup!

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You Have Unlocked The Lazy Moralist Achievement

| Right | February 10, 2012

Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this game.”

Me: “Of course. Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

(We sell game protection for all video games in case the customer breaks or scratches their game. It can be purchased for both new and pre-owned games.)

Me: “I see this game was purchased new and you haven’t purchased our game protection, so unfortunately, I cannot give you a refund. What exactly is wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s too hard.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s too difficult!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really cannot give you a refund just because it’s too difficult to play. Have you tried searching for a walkthrough guide on the internet?”

Customer: “Isn’t that cheating?”

Me: “Well, yes but—”

Customer: “Never mind.” *leaves*

This story is included in our Videogame Store roundup.

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