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The Inadvertent Thief

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2008

Lady: “Do you sell aloe vera gel?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid we don’t, but you might be able to get it at [Store] down the street.”

Lady: “Oh, great, thanks.”

(She leaves and ten minutes later returns wielding a tube, looking irritated.)

Me: “Hello again, did you manage to find it okay?”

Lady: “No! You told me they had aloe vera gel! All they had is the cream! I don’t want the cream!”

Me: “Um… you didn’t want the cream but you bought it anyway?”

Lady: “No, of course I didn’t BUY–”

(She suddenly stopped and looked at the tube in her hand. Her expression turned to horror and she legged it back out the door. My coworkers and I laughed for a good ten minutes at that one.)

This story is part of the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

Read the next Totally Unobservant Customers roundup story!

Read the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

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Celebrity Begins At Home

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2010

(I am taking calls for a charity.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Charity]. Are you calling this evening to make a donation?”

Caller: “Sure I will, but I want to talk to one of the famous people first.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that isn’t possible. However, if I take your donation, I’m sure that they will be grateful.”

Caller: “Well, what row are you in? Can you wave to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not on TV. I’m in a call center that handles the excess calls from generous people like yourself.”

Caller: “Well, just get up and tap [Celebrity] on the shoulder! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking my call!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I’m not in the studio at the moment.”

Caller: “I’ll just call back. I’m sure the next person will know someone famous! You should stop hogging all the famous people!”

This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Read the next Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup story!

Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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We All Get Screamed At For Ice Cream, Part 2

| Working | May 14, 2013

(Note: My manager always brings her two young kids into work, where they continually get under the chefs’ feet and generally be the biggest nuisances.)

Manager’s Kid: “Hey you! Give me an ice cream!”

(I glance out to where the manager is chain-smoking, as usual, but she doesn’t notice me. Knowing he’ll throw a tantrum anyway if I don’t, I make him a small ice cream. A few minutes later…)

Manager: *to me* “Did you give [kid] ice cream?! You stupid girl, what did you do that for? Now you’ve ruined his dinner! And you can’t just give out free ice cream like that. Everything has to be accounted for. Don’t EVER do that again!”

(The next day…)

Manager’s Kid: “I want ice cream!”

Me: “Sorry dude; not before your dinner.”

(A few minutes later…)

Manager: “DID YOU SAY ‘NO’ TO MY SON?!”


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(Throwing) A Curve Ball

| Learning | June 28, 2013

(This professor is really tough, but gives weekly quizzes that are on a curve so that at least one person in the class always gets a 100%.)

Student 1: *whispering to class* “Everybody just write your name, leave the rest blank and we’ll all get perfect scores.”

Class: “Agreed!”

(The professor comes in and sees us all sitting there not taking the quiz. He goes around and collects our papers.)

Professor: “Are you sure you all want to do this?”

Students: “…”

Professor: “You’re sure? Nobody here wants to change their mind?”

Student #2: “Yes, I want to actually take the quiz now.”

(Student #2 stands up to go get his paper back, completes his quiz and hands it to the professor. The professor grades it.)

Professor: “[Student #2], you got an 80%. When you make a decision, stick with it. Everybody else gets a 100%. However, this is the first and only time this will work.”

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I’m Falling To Pieces

, | Right | November 15, 2011

(We have a survey that pops up randomly when receipts print out. The customers can go to a website and receive a code for a free sandwich upon completion of the survey. We only accept receipts with the codes written on it.)

Me: “Do you have a coupon for me, sir?”

Customer: *hands me coupon* “I’d like to redeem my free sandwich.”

Me: *looks at coupon* “Sir, there is no code on this receipt. I cannot accept this coupon.”

(The customer rips it out of my hand, tears it up into several pieces and throws it on the floorboard.)

Friend: “We’ll just pay for the sandwich, then.”

(Still infuriated, the customer picks the receipt pieces back off the floorboard and continues to rip them into smaller pieces, throwing them back on the ground.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

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