Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”

Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”

Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”

Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”

Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”

Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks; you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*

This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

Read the next Terrible Parents story!

Read the Terrible Parents roundup!

(I work for a service that answers phones for TV commercials. One commercial in particular is giving us all fits! It is for a cup that freezes sweet liquids into slush-ice. The kids have been calling in, in DROVES, trying to get one. The offer is to be paid with a credit card and you have to be 18 or over to get it. This caller sounds like a five year old.)

Me: “Thank you for calling for [Cup Product]! How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah. I wanna [Cup Product] thing.”

Me: “Ma’am, do you have a credit card?”

Caller: “Yeah. It’s 123456789.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that is not a card number. How old are you?”

Caller: “Uh… I’m a hundred.”

Me: “Ma’am, please get your mommy to come to the phone. If you want a [Cup Product], you have to have an adult with a credit card.”

Caller: *getting crafty* “Uh, well, I already ordered it an’ used my Mommy’s—uh, my card. So, you can send it. Okay?”

Me: “Now look, honey… You need to have an ADULT come to the phone. Go get someone older.”

Caller: “Okay.”

(There is the sound of the receiver being put down, then instantly picked up again. I hear the same voice, now pitched much lower.)

Caller: “Hello? This is my Daddy. Please send me the [Cup Product] thingy, please!”

(I work in an uppity part of town where the e-shoppers come out of their yuppie caves to shop.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I have a question.”

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: *points at a popular movie puzzle with a picture of a child playing with said puzzle* “Is the kid on the box part of this puzzle?”

Me: “Um…what?”

Customer: “Well, if the kid is part of the puzzle, I don’t want it. He has nothing to do with this movie.”

(At this point I turned around and walked to the back room where she couldn’t get me.)

This story is part of the “Customers Who Don’t Know How The World Works” roundup!

Read the next roundup story!

Read the roundup!

(I work at a chain Italian restaurant. I am often asked questions about the menu, but every now and then a customer asks a question that catches me off guard.)

Customer #1: “No, it’s definitely an AT-AT!”

Customer #2: “No, it’s an AT-LT!”

Customer #1: “Ask our waiter. I bet you his tip.”

(By this point, I have been overhearing this conversation, and the nerd inside me is intrigued by Star Wars trivia.)

Me: “Can I help you guys with something?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, my boyfriend here thinks that the robot in star wars that walks on two legs with the little dogs is called the AT-LT. Please tell him it’s an AT-AT?”

Me: “Actually, I’m sorry but both of you are incorrect; the vehicle you’re thinking of is the AT-ST, which is premiered in the Battle for Hoth, the ice planet, but is actually featured in the Battle of Endor. In fact, that’s what Chewbacca uses to blow the blast doors open for Han Solo and Princess Leia. And the dogs are called Ewoks and they’re native to Endor.”

Customer #1: “Oh… thanks.”

(I ended up walking away and since they each bet $20, I actually earned $40. That’s the first time my nerd knowledge actually gained me that much money. May the Force be with you!)

This story is part of our Star Wars roundup!

Read the next Star Wars roundup story!

Read the Star Wars Roundup!

(One of my students is in a wheelchair. Lately, he’s been struggling with math and failed a big test. His mother schedules a meeting with me.)

Me: “He’s been coming to afterschool tutoring, which is excellent, and…”

Student’s Mother: “He’s in a wheelchair!”

Me: “Uh… yes. So, despite failing the test, I realize he’s just mixing up these two equations, which should…”

Student’s Mother: “No! He’s in a wheelchair!”

Me: “Ma’am, I know your son is in a wheelchair. What does that have to do with anything?”

Student’s Mother: “He’s in a wheelchair! You shouldn’t have failed him!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son can’t walk. He needs help opening some doors, getting things off a high shelf, and picking up things that require too much bending over. He is perfectly capable of doing math. In this case, he’s just struggling with this one section, which is more advanced than last year, and he’s not the only student who is struggling.”

Student’s Mother: “But you shouldn’t fail students who are in wheelchairs! That’s wrong!”

Me: “Your son is on the debate team, plays the guitar, does sports, and won a school contest last year. He is perfectly capable of many things, including struggling with math. I am not going to grade him differently simply because he’s in a wheelchair.”

Student’s Mother: “This is discrimination!”

Me: “Right, please leave. I am going to schedule a conference with the principal and dean of students.”

(She left, still protesting I was discriminating against her son. We had the meeting a few days later and the principal and dean both agreed with me that just because someone’s legs, arms, or other body parts don’t function like the rest of us, it doesn’t mean they are incapable of failing math. Now, I personally do not drag students into such discussions, but the student did find out. He apologized profusely, saying his mother was always using his disability to get free food and services. He also said he works so hard because he wants to attend a college far away from her. I can understand why.)

This story is part of our celebration of Not Always Right publishing over 100,000 stories!

This story is included in the roundup of Not Always Learning stories to toast this achievement!

<< Previous Story  |  Roundup  |  Next Story >>