Great stories from our entire backlog!

Single Versus Single-Minded

| Romantic | June 25, 2013

(I work on a small crew that cleans and checks airplanes before locking them down for the night. There is a new hire, who I know is the boyfriend of one of my friends who works customer service.)

New Hire: “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “No. I’ve actually never had a boyfriend.”

New Hire: “So you’re a virgin?!”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. I’ve never even been kissed.”

New Hire: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “Well, it’s true, but I don’t really care what you think.”

New Hire: “You know, you’re not bad looking. I’d kiss you.”

Me: “What? No!”

New Hire: “Why not?”

Me: “I know your girlfriend. Besides, I’m not interested.”

New Hire: “Come on. She wouldn’t care.”

Me: “You’re not my type.”

New Hire: “But I’ll kiss you!”

Me: “I’m not desperate. Seriously, I’m not interested.”

New Hire: “Whatever.”

(A couple of weeks later, I give my notice—for different reasons. The next week I am on a crew with the same guy.)

New Hire: “I heard you gave your notice.”

Me: “Yup.”

New Hire: “But we haven’t even got to know one another yet!”

Me: “You know, I think I’m okay with that.”

New Hire: “Come on! I’m six times more awesome than you remember me!”

Me: “Six times zero is still zero.”

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Inn-Experienced Dialer

, , | Right | February 14, 2010

Me: “Welcome to [Wireless Carrier]. How may we help you today?”

Caller: “I want to book a room at the hotel.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You’ve called [Wireless Carrier], so we can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “What? Why not? I called the number on the promo letter I received!”

Me: “You’ve called a cell phone company, not a hotel.”

Caller: “Why won’t you help me? I just want to book the room, and it says call this number!”

Me: “Sir, we are not a hotel; we have cell phones. I’m sure the hotel can assist you with booking a room if you call the correct number.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Is it because you are completely booked?”

Me: “Yes, that’s why.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll call somebody else, then.” *click*


This story is part of our roundup about customers who are bad listeners!

Read the next story in the bad listening customers roundup!

Read the bad listening customers roundup!

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Time To Trade In One Slightly Used Mom

, , | Right | May 25, 2009

Customer: “Is this flea market going well for you?”

Me: “Decently… considering how many other tables here, I’m glad for the business we’ve gotten.”

Customer: “You can sell just about anything here, right?”

Me: “Mmhmm.”

Customer: “If I give you twenty bucks, will you please sell my children?”

Me: “Well…um. I’m sorry, but no.”

Customer: “Please?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Selling your children would be slavery.”

Customer: “Okay. So, can I buy this?” *holds up a cheap ring*

Me: “Sure. That’ll be–”

Customer: “I’ll give you my daughter for it!”

Me: “No. You know what? If I give you the ring, will you go away?”

Customer: *goes away with her children and the cheap ring*

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Rubber-Stamped As Racist

| Right | April 14, 2015

(I work in a public library at the reference/circulation desk. The patron has just taken a rubber band out of one of our rubber band return bins, and seeing that it’s full of rubber bands and trash, I go over to empty it. Both the patron and I are white.)

Patron: *whipping her head around seeing me empty the bin* “What? Was there something wrong with them?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s the rubber band return. It needs to be emptied periodically so we can try to get our rubber bands back.”

(We have a major issue with patrons taking office supplies and library materials so we try to keep an eye on this.)

Patron: *rips the rubber band off her wrist and throws it on the desk in front of me* “Guess you may as well have this one, too!”

Me: “Oh, thanks!”

(A little while later she comes up, and I let her know she has a fine, after which time she leaves the library, then comes back several minutes later and dumps a handful of pennies on the counter to pay her fine.)

Patron: *to my coworker while glaring at me* “I don’t know what some people’s problem is! I take one rubber band from the thing and he HAS to empty it right then! Some people take all the rubber bands they want and nobody says anything to them! Guess it just matters what color your skin is, HUH?”

Me: *to the patron I’m helping at the desk* “Did I really just get accused of being racist against white people by another white person?”

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Un-bully-ievable Behavior

| Working | July 1, 2013

(I’m a college student interning at a local company. Several coworkers and I are standing in line for a program-wide ice cream social.)

Coworker #1: “The line isn’t even moving.”

Me: “Ugh. This is why high schoolers invent finger games.”

Coworker #2: “Finger games?”

Me: “Yeah, like the one where you tap fingers and… here, I’ll show you.”

(I begin to explain the rules of a simple counting finger game. Several other coworkers get involved. Suddenly, I look up.)

Me: “Oh, the line is moving!”

Coworker #1: “Oh, it did make the time pass faster!”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, I guess it worked!”

Coworker #3: “When I was young we just found a scrawny kid and beat him up when we were bored.”

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