Customer: “Is this movie one of those violent ones?”
(Customer shows me a copy of ‘Stardust’.)
Me: “No, sir, that’s a family fantasy movie.”
Customer: “Are you sure? I thought Sawdust was violent and gory?”
Me: “Sir, you’re thinking of the ‘Saw’ movies. You have a copy of ‘Stardust’, which is completely different.”
Customer: “I was looking for something really disturbing and violent.”
Me: “Well ‘Stardust’ has a scene with Robert De Niro in a dress doing the can-can.”
(Customer mulls this over for a few seconds.)
Customer: “I think you’d better show me where those ‘Saw’ movies are.”
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Customer: “I would like to buy some top round meat. Are those good for grilling?”
Me: “No, ma’am, not really. It’s part of the leg and they’re better to marinate first because it’s kind of a tough muscle.”
Customer: “Oh, no I don’t want the muscle. Just give me the meat!”
(I’m working the register and we just got some new fruit that isn’t written on the paper so I call my coworker over to help find the number.)
Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s just going to be a minute. I need my coworker to find the number for these fruits as I don’t have it yet.”
Customer: “Can’t you just guess?”
Me: “I really don’t think that will work”
Customer: “Come on, just try.”
Me: “Oh, hey, it did work!”
(Customer looks pleased and gets ready to pay.)
Me: “Guess you just bought a vacuum cleaner for 249.99.”
Customer: Oh…”
(I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I get one or two requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman around seventy-five or eighty approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find four of these. Would you care to check the backroom to see if you have any more?”
Me: “Sure thing.”
(I grab a single flour package from her. After one or two minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)
Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have four! That’s exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”
(I am way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)
Me: “You’re… welcome. Anything else?”
Customer: “One more thing, dear.”
Me: “What is it?”
Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”
Me: “Hello, ma’am, would you like to order?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like a Pikachu.”
Me: *confused* “Pardon me?”
Customer: “A Pikachu! A Pikachu!” *points at the menu, where it says ‘focaccia’*
Me: “Right, one Pikachu…”
