He Wants What He Wants

| | Right | July 28, 2008

Camper: “Can I get a root beer float?”

Me: “No, you can only order a single scoop cup or cone.”

Camper: “So I can get one?”

Me: “You can get a single scoop ice cream, cup or cone.”

Camper: “So can I get a root beer float?”

Me: “You can get a cup or cone, single scoop or ice cream. That’s what you can get. Got it?”

Camper: *nods*

Me: “So what are you getting?”

Camper: “A root beer float.”

Me: “Are you seriously not getting this?”

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Cash-Back It Forward

| West Palm Beach, FL, USA | Right | November 29, 2012

Customer: “Looks like I’ll need cash back today.”

(The customer opens his wallet. It’s empty.)

Me: *laughs* “Oh, I know how that is.” *joking* “But I never even have the cash to get back.”

(The customer gets $40 in cash back. I hand him two twenties.)

Me: “Twenty and forty, have a good day, sir!”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(He walks off a moment, then turns around and tosses one of the twenties I handed him onto the register.)

Customer: “A little cash back for you.” *smiles*

(Before I can protest, he leaves. I wound up using that $20 to fill my gas tank. Thank you, sir!)

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Not Your Dad’s Cowboy Movie

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Right | August 6, 2011

(I’m working in the box office and it’s the opening night of “Brokeback Mountain”. An elderly gentleman and his ten year old grandson walk up to my window.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get you?”

Customer: “One child and one senior for Brokeback Mountain.”

Me: “Sir, just so you know, there’s some scenes that may not be appropriate for children.”

(He pauses and stares blankly.)

Customer: “Oh, it’s nothing that he won’t see in real life!”

(After he leaves, I inform the manager on duty of the situation. About 30 minutes into the movie, we watch as the grandfather and child literally run out of the theater and out of the building.)

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Why Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

, , | | Right | March 19, 2008

(Years ago I was working the closing shift at a local convenience store. It was late when a very elderly man came in and bought a six pack of beer, cigarettes and condoms. After ringing up the sale…)

Me: “Have a good night, sir!”

Man: “Oh, I will. The missus is out of town!”

Me: *shocked and speechless*

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Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

, , | | Right | December 23, 2007

Customer: *calling from cellphone* “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

Customer: “I told you that is none of your d*** business.”

(After few more exchanges of this sort…)

Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

Manager: *who overheard my part of the conversation* “May I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

Customer: “S***!! Just f***ing tell me how to get there.”

Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

Customer: *click*

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