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Not Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

| Right | April 27, 2012

(At the sandwich shop I work at, pretty much all the meat is cold and we only heat it at the customer’s request. I am working the first position on the sandwich line, greeting people, and starting their sandwiches for them. An older customer comes up to the line.)

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store name]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’d like a sandwich, please.”

Me: “Sure! What would you like in it?”

Customer: “Cold meat.”

Me: “Ma’am, all the meat is cold. What meat would you like?”

Customer: “Cold meat. I already said that!”

Me: “Well, what type? We have ham, chicken, beef, turkey—”

Customer: “How hard is it for you to just put cold meat in my d*** sandwich? Are you new here?! They always put cold meat in my d*** sandwich! For f***’s sake, just put cold meat in my sandwich!”

Me: *speechless* “Okay, how about I get you the person who regularly serves you to help you out?”

Customer: “No! F*** it! You’re useless at this!” *leaves store grumbling*

 

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Closing Early Has Grim Reaper-cussions

, , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2010

(The chain store has a pharmacy that closes at 7:00 pm. A couple is in my lane at 8:30 pm.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Not unless you can break into the pharmacy and get my wife’s prescription.”

Me: *chuckle* “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: *completely serious* “She’s gonna die without it. Oh, well.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “It’s okay; she’s old enough to die anyway.”

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Courtesy Falls On Deaf Ears

| Working | August 17, 2013

(Many of my coworkers occupy their time making rude comments about people while hiding behind the tall display counter. A very pleasant woman I recognize comes in to browse, but one of my coworkers reaches her before I can.)

Coworker #1: “Is there anything I can help you with today?”

(The customer does not respond.)

Coworker #1: *passive-aggressively to herself* “Well, fine then, never mind.”

(Another coworker gets the customer’s attention and takes her order. This customer has a noticeable speech impediment. Upon hearing it, my two coworkers look at each other behind the counter and smirk. Once Coworker #2 has taken the customer’s order to the front so she can pay, she comes back and laughs with Coworker #1.)

Coworker #2: “Did you hear her? What was with that?”

Coworker #1: “I don’t know; she was a little rude anyway.”

Me: “Seriously? She’s DEAF. That’s why she didn’t respond at first, and that’s why she speaks differently.”

Coworker #1: “…oh, well…”

(Neither looked especially remorseful. This customer was not aware of what my coworkers were doing, and I’m grateful they didn’t ruin her day.)

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Jeff Foxworthy Would Be Proud

, , | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

(After the previews, he returns.)

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there. It’s a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, cars?”

Customer: “NASCAR! I wanted to see Mad about NASCAR!!”

Me: “Let me get the manager…”

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In That Case, Replace Them Daily

, , , | Right | April 25, 2008

Customer: “Could you check my brakes and see if they are bad?”

Coworker: “Of course. Which vehicle is yours?”

Customer: “Oh, I walked here.”

Coworker: “Okay, well we can’t check your brakes if the car isn’t here.”

Customer: “I told you I walked here. I just want to know if I need new brakes.”

Coworker: “I can’t tell you that unless I actually see the vehicle.”

Customer: “Can’t you just tell me if I need new brakes for my car? It’s a Mercedes if that helps at all.”

Coworker: “Like I said, I need to see the car to tell you if you need new brakes.”

Customer: “Okay, so can you tell me if my brakes are bad?”

Me: “We physically need the car here in front of us so we can look at the brakes with our own eyes and determine if they are bad or not.”

Customer: “It’s a Mercedes.”


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