Cost In The Translation

, , , , , | Right | February 19, 2010

(In the store we put on our own price tags, but customers have a bad habit of taking them off to get a lower price.)

Customer: “Hi, could I get a price on this?”

Me: “Sure.” *takes a look* “It’ll be $14.99.”

Customer’s Daughter: *in Spanish* “Wow, mom, that’s more expensive than the real tag!”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Have a good day, and come back soon!” *wink*

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Coming Of Age And Going Of Class

| Learning | April 29, 2014

(My chemistry teacher will sometimes cancel the lesson if it’s the last one before end of school and we can provide him a good reason. I’m repeating the year, so I’m one year older than the others.)

Classmate: “Mr. [Teacher], can we have the lesson off? I wanna go home.”

Teacher: “No, not today. Not unless it’s someone’s 18th birthday.”

(I take out my ID, get up and approach him. I hold out my ID and grin. He reads my birth date and starts laughing.)

Teacher: “I should have remembered that [My Name] is one year older than the rest of you…”

(Few seconds of silence.)

Teacher: “… Now get out. Class is cancelled.”

(My whole class bought me a belated birthday cake the next day.)

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It’s Never Too Late To Find Your Higher Calling

| Right | July 4, 2011

(A customer in his late 30s comes through my line with a few food items, a pack of printer paper, and a can of compressed air.)

Me: “Hi. Find everything you needed today?”

Customer: “I did, thank you.”

(When I scan the canned air, the register automatically asks for ID.)

Me: “May I please see your ID?”

Customer: “Sure, but what for?”

Me: “It’s for the canned air. The register won’t process an age-restricted product without actually scanning an ID.”

Customer: “Why is it age-restricted?”

Me: “Well, kids inhale it to get high. It really messes you up.”

Customer: “Really?”

(He looks down at his order.)

Customer: “Think I should get another can?”

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Security-Insecurity, Part 2

| Right | October 26, 2009

(A customer is placing an order for products to be sent from another store.)

Me: “Now, can I just have a convenient phone number to call you on?”

Customer: “Sorry, my number is private.”

Me: “I need it so I can let you know when the products arrive in store.”

Customer: “Absolutely not! I hate calls in the middle of making dinner.”

Me: “I only call within trading hours, so I can’t order your products unless you will come in to pick them up.”

Customer: “Can I call you?”

Me: “It would be easier for me to call you.”

Customer: “How would you like it if I took your number down and called you randomly?”

Me: “I will only call you to let you know that your order is in. Our privacy policy protects you from other people calling you for other reasons. We only use it to let you know your order.”

Customer: “Can I leave my mobile with you?”

Me: “Yes, that would be fine.”

Customer: *puts mobile on counter and walks out before I can stop them*


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Totally Scentsless

| Right | January 23, 2012

(I work in a store that sells lotions, soaps, and candles with different scents. Recently, one of the companies we carry had a new line of lotion that was named after fruits: strawberry, apple, and banana scented lotion. To promote the new line, we have a few jars of each scent on a table at the front with a tongue depressor in each jar so that customers could easily scoop out a little lotion to try. I’m stocking a shelf when an angry customer walks up.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”

Customer: “I’m very angry with the product in this store. Are you trying to kill someone?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What’s the problem?”

Customer: “That yogurt you have up front is not even cold, and it tastes horrible.”

Me: “Yogurt? We don’t sell yogurt.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. It’s on the little table up front with a spoon to taste it. The banana tastes like garbage and the strawberry doesn’t have any taste.”

Me: “Sir, those are lotions, not yogurt.”

(The customer gets a little flustered after realizing their mistake.)

Customer: “You should really label it as lotion. It’s confusing!”

Me: “It is labeled. See?”

(I show the customer the huge sign on the table that says “lotion” as well as each individual fragrance saying “lotion” on the jar.)

Customer: *leaves, mumbling*

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