(It is shortly before Thanksgiving, and the grocery store I am shopping in has shopping bags filled with holiday items for needy families. The sealed bags are on tables by the checkout. To purchase one, as I had before, you just put it on the belt with your groceries, then pay, and drop it into a donation bin by the exit. I pick up one of these bags and put it on the belt with my groceries.)

Cashier: *gesturing to the charity bag* “That isn’t for you.”

Me: “I’m sorry…  What?”

Cashier: “Those are for needy families. You can’t have it.”

Me: “I’m not buying it for me. I’m going to put it in the bin by the door.”

Cashier: “You can’t buy those! They aren’t for you! You are taking food from needy families!”

Me: “I bought one the other day so it can be given to a needy family.”

Cashier: “They shouldn’t have let you. You have to put it back.”

(I am wondering if I should bother to have a manager called over when the cashier from the next checkout says to my cashier:)

Other Cashier: “What are you doing, [Cashier]? Those bags are for any customer to buy and donate. The store ships them to a charity that gives them to the families.”

Cashier: “Oh. I thought only the poor could buy them.”

(The cashier still seemed reluctant, but she did ring out my order and allow me to make my donation. I hope I was the first customer who had tried to buy one of those bags in her lane.)

(I work for a phone provider. If someone wants to change their number it’s $20, unless they are being harassed, which most of them say they are anyway to avoid paying.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Phone Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi, yes. I want to change my phone number.”

Me: “Sure thing, I can definitely help you with that. Why are you changing it? Harassment or just want something new?”

Caller: “Oh, I just want a new number.”

Me: “Sure thing. Before I continue, I should inform you It’s a $20 charge.”

Caller: “WHAT!? But I’m being harassed! Calls at all times of the night! Swearing at me! And you want to charge me? That’s outrageous!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that, sir. In cases of harassment, we do have the option to waive that charge.”

Caller: “I can’t believe you are going to charge me!”

Me: “No, sir, I’d be more than happy to remove the charge.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous!” *speaks to someone in background* “Hey! They are going to charge us $20 to change our number!”

Other Person: “What!? That’s insane!”

Me: “Sir, I can waive the charge. You won’t have to pay it.”

Caller: “You are sick doing this to me. You know what? I’m going to another company. Then they will install me and give me a new number for free!”

Me: “Sir, I can waive the fee. It will be removed. You will not have to pay it. It will be $0.”

Caller: “Oh! So NOW that I’m going to another company you’ll waive it. You people are despicable! Good day!” *hangs up*

(I work with a group of ten second grade girls in a literacy class called GirlSMART. All of them are English learners, but most of them don’t have a hard time speaking the language. One girl, however, will lapse back into Spanish just because she feels like it.)

Student: “¡Oy! ¡Necesito ayuda, maestra!”

Me: *patiently* “Now, [student], I know calling me ‘maestra’ can be considered polite, but you know that I like to be called Miss [name]. Okay?”

Student: “Okay, maestra.”

(She proceeds to crack jokes in Spanish, not thinking I can understand her. I decide to prod at her.)

Me: “¡Oy! ¡Estudiante! ¿Todavía necesitas ayuda?”

Student: *in English* “Did you just call me ‘student?'”

Me: “Yes. Because if you’re not going to call me by my actual name, I’m not going to call you by yours.”

(She’s been calling me ‘Miss [name]’ and speaking in English ever since.)

(It’s early in the morning, and so the home-wares store that I work in is pretty quiet at the moment. It is so quiet, that I can hear this customer from the other end of the store as she walks in, getting progressively louder as she approaches me.)

Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

(Hearing this, I turn around to see a middle aged woman and her 10-year-old son looking at me expectantly, still repeating ‘coffee cups’ as she gets closer.)

Me: “Um, was there something I can help you with tod—”

Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

Me: *trying my best to act normal* “Sure… just on the shelf in the corner there.” *points*

Customer: “Ah! Coffee cups!”

(This takes place at a US government agency. We’ve released an RFQ for a major computer purchase: one new large mainframe system replacing two smaller and much older systems. I’m the sysadmin for all three. It’s currently October of 1994.)

Me: “I’m going to need some help with the migration when the new machine gets here. I want either Bill or Dave to assist me.”

Boss: “It won’t be here for a while, right?”

Me: “Right, not until March. I just wanted to give you a little lead time on getting an assistant, so you could arrange it with their manager.”

Boss: “Okay. Remind me again when it gets a little closer to the time.”

Me: “No prob…”

(January, 1995)

Me: “The contract for the new machine has been awarded. You asked me to remind you about getting an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(February, 1995)

Me: “They’re starting to build the machine. It should ship early next month. I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(March, 1995)

Me: “The machine is being shipped tomorrow. I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(Late March, 1995)

Me: “The machine is on our receiving dock. I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(End of March, 1995)

Me: “The machine is in the computer room. They’re starting to hook up the power. I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(April, 1995)

Me: “The machine’s up and running. I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

(May, 1995)

Me: “The machine’s been running for a month, and I’ve begun the migration, but I still need an assistant.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it…”

(September, 1995)

Boss: “Why aren’t you finished yet?!”