The Route Of Shared Pain

| Right | March 20, 2015

(I work tech support in a call center, which can involve long and draining days. I take a break and head down to the mall adjacent to us and am browsing some items in an electronic store. Many of the items are the same ones I provide technical support for. I approach an employee to ask a question about a sale they have on their wireless routers.)

Me: “Hi, I wanted to ask about these wireless routers.”

Employee: *suddenly looking scared* “…Yes?”

Me: “I notice the sale is for the tri-band routers, but does it also apply to the quad-band?”

Employee: *looking surprised* “Oh. Sorry, it’s just I’ve been asked very different kinds of questions today.”

Me: “Let me guess. They’re surprised you have to plug them in because they should be ‘wireless?'”

Employee: “Yes! How did you know?”

Me: “I work tech support across the street. I had a call today asking why the ‘box of Internet’ had to talk to the clouds, and ‘why was the Internet all the way up there in the first place?'”

Employee: “Can… can I give you a hug?”

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One Ink To Rule Them All

| Right | August 14, 2009

Customer: “I’d like a cartridge for my printer, please.”

Me: “Yes, of course. Which one would you like?”

Customer: “The one for my printer.”

Me: “Which printer is it?”

Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

Me: “What type of printer is it?”

Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”

Me: “Do you know the type or the cartridge number? Did you bring the cartridge with you?”

Customer: “No. It sits on my desk. You must know which one it is!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t. All of these cartridges are for different types of printers, and I’ll need to know what type of printer you have.”

Customer: “It sits at my desk! You have to know! I bought it here last year!”

Me: “We sell hundreds of printers each year. Is it HP, Lexmark, or Epson?”

Customer: “Look, I bought it here! I need a cartridge and I want it for the printer that sits on my desk!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but unless you know the kind of printer you have, I can’t help you.”

Customer: “What horrible service! I’m never coming back here again!” *storms out*

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Don’t Know Thy Enemy

| Right | March 15, 2012

(Note: I never forget a face, ever. A man walks into my bank, straight to my desk. He has a look on his face as if he knows exactly who I am. However, I have never seen him before in my life.)

Man:*smiles and sits down at my desk* “Your mother is a dirty w****.”

Me: “E-e-excuse me?!”

Man: “You heard me. A dirty, nasty w****.”

Me: “Sir, first of all, I am certain you don’t know my mother, since she’s dead. Second, you need to leave right now for speaking like that.”

Man: “Wait, is this [competitor]?”

Me: “No, no it’s not. Please leave.”

Man: *quickly leaves*

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Part 2

| Right | September 7, 2012

(A mother and her two young children (both 4 or 5 years old) come through my checkout line. The mother is on her phone, totally oblivious to her children, who are running around and pulling on my apron strings. We have a spinning carousel with which to bag purchases; as I bag, the children begin spinning it around.)

Me: “No, no, sweetie… please don’t do that. I’m trying to bag.”

(Both children ignore me and keep spinning, and as a result I get hit by the carousel.)

Me: *in pain* “Sweetheart, please don’t do that.”

(The children continue to ignore me, so I put my knee on it so they can no longer spin it.)

Me: “Please don’t.” *to the mother* “Ma’am?”

Mother: *waves me off*

(I have to lift a 24-pack of water, so I remove my knee from the carrousel. As expected, the children take this opportunity to spin it as hard as possible. I set the water down and stop the carousel.)

Me: “Excuse me! When a grown up asks you to stop, you stop. This can hurt you if you get close, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

Mother: “B****! Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked them and I asked you to stop spinning the carrousel. Someone could get hurt.”

Mother: “That’s bulls***!”

(At this point, an elderly woman who has been waiting in line speaks up in my defense.)

Elderly Woman: “Miss, you keep on bagging. This little hussy here should learn to watch her children, and if she can’t, then she shouldn’t have had them!” *to the mother* “In my day, you would be nice to the people at the register! Now, get off the phone and show some respect, because without nice young girls like this you’d never get your groceries and your kids would probably be bleeding on the floor while you’re on the phone too busy to care! What have you to say for yourself?!”

(The mother was completely speechless and had nothing to say in her defense. Instead, she paid for her stuff and left as quickly as possible!)

 

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Guidance Counseling, Customer Style

, , , | Right | March 11, 2009

(I’m finishing a long transaction for a supermarket customer.)

Customer: “You realise that you didn’t say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ throughout all of that?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I thought I did.”

Customer: “Do you go to college or is this your full-time job?!’

Me: “I go to college, but–”

Customer: “GOOD! DON’T DO THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY CRAP AT IT!”

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