Who You Gonna Call?

| Right | December 11, 2008

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”

Me: “Umm… no?”

Customer: “Ok, well… thanks anyway.”

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Has You In Their Sights

| Right | April 28, 2017

(I am the youngest on staff. Despite being an older teenager, my coworkers despise teenagers and basically ignore them if they come into the store. Therefore, I purposely seek them out so that they don’t feel ignored or shafted by my older coworkers.)

Teen: “Can I see your glasses? They’re beautiful; I want ones just like it!”

Me: *hands them over* “Oh, really, thanks. They’re new; I got them a few days ago.”

Teen: “What brand are they?

Me: “Kate Spade. Aren’t they cute?”

(The teen looks up at me, looks at the glasses, and runs out of the store with my glasses before I can do anything. I chase after her but she runs too quickly for me to catch up in my heels.)

Me: “[Older Coworker], did you see that!?”

Older Coworker: “Yes… how stupid must they be? You’re in a jewellery store and you steal glasses? Idiot.”

(I didn’t have any extras because I have never broken or lost my glasses before so I stumble through my shift with squinty eyes and my coworker’s help. My manager makes me fill in an incident report as I’m writing it in the back my manager comes and gets me.)

Manager: “The teenager came back with her mom. Turns out her mom caught her selling your glasses on eBay.”

(I got my glasses back, with an apology, and the teen was banned from the mall for her theft. She tried arguing that since she didn’t steal a mall item she shouldn’t be banned by her complaint went nowhere.)

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Waiting His Turn Took A Turn For Justice

| Right | December 2, 2015

(I work in a biker’s cafe in a small town and a lot of the older residents come in on Wednesday for the Old Age Pensioner’s meal deal. One lady comes in who has a quite debilitating stutter and doesn’t read very well. I’m working my way through the menu with her, reading out each option until I eventually get to fish and chips and she starts nodding.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Why didn’t you just say that then?!”

(I tell the woman the price and help her count out the correct change.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Just give her the god-d*** food! Can’t you see she’s senile?!”

(The woman is now trying not to cry and drops her purse on the floor.)

Next Customer: “Oh, just throw her out. I’ll have a coffee.”

Me: “Can you just wait your turn please, sir.”

Next Customer: “I’m not waiting a year for the coffin dodger to finish. Give me a coffee!”

(One of the huge leather clad bikers gets up, goes over to the customer, picks him up, and takes him outside. The woman I’m serving breaths a sigh of relief and utters the first phrase I’ve heard out of her that had no hint of a stutter.)

Woman: “What a tw*t!”

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Not Thinking Outside The Box – Part 2

, , , | Right | October 14, 2009

(I’m on the phone with a customer who had returned an empty box with no tape to our video rental store.)

Customer: “…I f***ing DID return that tape this morning!”

Me: “Sorry, but you actually only returned an empty box.”

(The customer continues yelling at me and calling me names. I patiently wait until he stops.)

Me: “Could you do me a small favour? Go over to your VCR and press the eject button.”

(The customer curses me out again, but I hear him rest the phone down and then hear a VCR ejecting a tape. There is a silence, then the phone is picked up.)

Customer: “Um… I’ll be round in ten minutes.”

 

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Passed The First Test

| Right | September 20, 2013

(I work at a non-profit agency that runs licensing examinations for a certain profession. When you take our exams, you have a certain amount of time to pass all sections, and if you wait too long to retake a failed section, you end up having to take all parts again. In my time at the job, I’ve had a number of callers who waited too long, and when they find out they have to retake everything, without exception they have gone ballistic. I am taking a call from a young lady with questions about her exams.)

Caller: “Yes, I have some questions about my exams. I failed one section two years ago and want to see about retaking it.”

Me: “Well, let me look up your information.”

(I take her name and look her up in our system.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, you need to do [module] to reactivate your eligibility for the exams. But I’m sorry to tell you that you’re outside your eligibility period, and need to retake the entire exam, rather than just the portion you didn’t pass.”

(I am cringing at that point, waiting for the screaming and crying I’ve always experienced when breaking that news.)

Caller: “Really? Well, that’s annoying, but if I gotta, I gotta, right?”

Me: “Uh… really?”

Caller: “Well, yeah. I waited too long; I do it over again, right? It’s a pain, but it’s what I have to do, right?”

Me: “Ma’am, thank you SO much for being reasonable! I’ve had others in the same position as you and when I’ve broken the news to them, they’ve bitten my head off!”

Caller: “Why would they? It’s not your fault!”

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