(I am at a game store to get a case for my new DSi I got for Christmas a few days ago. I see the case I want, but I’m too short to get it.)

Employee: *reaches up and gets it for me* “Here you go, little lady.”

Customer: “That for your kid, girl? You should be ashamed, having one at your age!”

Employee: “Dude, she’s in here all the time; it’s for her. Now, [My Name], need anything else?”

Me: “I think I’ll look at the used games.”

Customer: “Just a poor, single mother. Should be ashamed.”

Cashier: “Sir, please stop harassing her.”

Me: “Are the pre-orders for the new Pokèmon game out yet?”

Employee: “Nope, not until—”

Customer: “She must be a mother! What teenager plays Pokèmon?”

Cashier: “Well, I’m thirty-two and I play.”

Employee: “Twenty-eight. Love Heart Gold and Soul Silver.”

Me: “Twenty. I also play Epic Mickey. With my father. Who is right outside.”

(I gesture out the window. My dad isn’t very strong, but he looks it and is rather tall.)

Customer: *leaves, embarassed*

Cashier: “So, how did you like [Game I bought in the summer] when you were abroad?”

Me: “Epic. Thanks, guys.”

Cashier: “You’re a regular, [My Name]. Oh, hey, [Employee], did you show her the new controller?”

(It ended up being a good trip!)

This story is part of our Pokémon roundup!

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(We are a discount store that never has sales because our prices are already low. This year, we open on Thanksgiving evening and stay open through Black Friday, though everything is regular price. A customer walks into the store about an hour after we open.)

Me: *at cash counter* “Good evening, ma’am!”

Customer: “I heard you guys are opening now and aren’t closing until midnight on Black Friday!”

Me: “Yes, we’re going to be open all night tonight and all day tomorrow.”

Customer: “Great! I’m surprised there’s nobody here. So, what are the specials?”

Me: “Well, we actually aren’t having any sales; our prices are already rock-bottom.”

Customer: *confused* “So, everything is regular price?”

Me: “That is correct.”

Customer: *shouting* “Then why the h*** am I here? I should be at home spending time with my family, not wasting time shopping at full price! I only came because I thought there’d be a good sale! You wasted my time and took me away from my family!”

Me: *pointedly* “I agree. I don’t like being away from my family on holidays, either. Have a nice night.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

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I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one. My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really trusts him, although they have questioned his actions on a few occasions. This is a story of one of those times. 

[Father-In-Law]’s boss had him go across state lines to bid on a job. [Father-In-Law] really didn’t want to because it was a two-and-a-half-hour ride that he knew would be rough on the men in his crew. He got down there as the State representative for the Department of Transit was going over the job. Apparently, the job was partially completed. It was a rather long stretch of a new highway connecting two other highways. The problem was that the previous contractor had started the project at both ends with the plan to meet in the middle. Yeah, you already see where this is heading. They didn’t plan well, and the ends were at least a mile apart. So, instead of doing the right thing and fixing the problem, the company decided that since the state foolishly paid fully upfront, they would go out of business, thus providing no way for the state to get the money back.

The State representative made it clear that this job had to be done quickly. Some big politician had made this highway a big part of his campaign, and now his reputation was on the line. The representative said that whoever got this job had to complete it in thirty days.

Father-In-Law: “Excuse me, sir. This job won’t take thirty days. It will—”

At this point, the representative went on a cussing tirade that he knew what he was talking about and it WOULD take thirty days and that was all there is to it because they had to redo over twenty miles of the road.

My father-in-law decided then and there that he didn’t even want to fool with this guy. Plus, it was a long drive for his crew. He overbid the job. In construction, especially big jobs, if a company doesn’t want the job, they will still bid on it because it makes them look good. If they don’t want it, they will place a high enough bid that they know they will not get it. Well, turns out [Father-In-Law] didn’t bid high enough. His company was the lowest bid.

His boss and the owner of the company called my [Father-In-Law] in for a meeting.

Boss: “What were you thinking? We looked at this and we stand to lose over $200,000.”

Father-In-Law: “Lose? No, we will make a whole lot more then that.” *Turning to the owner* “Look. You’ve known me for a long, long time. Have I ever let you down? Do you trust me or not?”

Owner: “No, you haven’t. But this… I don’t see how you can do this.” *Pauses* “But I do trust you.”

Father-In-Law: “Okay, look at this contract.” *Points to a clause* “This is how we are going to make money.”

Boss: “With the early completion bonus?”

Most large construction contracts have what is called an Early Completion Bonus Clause. This is where they pay a certain amount of money for each day the job is completed ahead of schedule. These can vary from a few thousand to millions.

Father-In-Law: “With the clause that the State representative put in there himself of $20,000 a day for early completion. Now, I want to make a bet with you. If I make this company money, which I will, I get a week off and each member of my crew gets a week’s bonus pay.”

Owner: “You seem mighty sure of yourself. You got yourself a deal.”

[Father-In-Law] went back to his crew and filled them in on his plan to fix the problem. They were at first not very happy until he told them about the bonus. They went wholeheartedly into it. The crew worked themselves from sunup to sundown and some, like my [Father-In-Law], slept in their vehicles so they wouldn’t have to make the five-hour daily commute.

The job was completed… in eight days! [Father-In-Law] said the solution was easier than anyone had proposed if they had just bothered to look at the layout of the land. All that was required was a change in about a two-mile stretch. 

The State representative was thrilled until he got the bill for not only the $200,000 but the request for over $400,000 of Early Completion Bonus. The representative balked at it at first, but when presented with the contract HE HIMSELF had written, he had no choice but to authorize payment.

The owner was so thrilled that he gave the crew a full two weeks bonus and a week off paid. [Father-In-Law] spent his week off working on his old truck and taking the grandkids fishing.

Related:
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This Lesson Really Blows
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This Lesson Really Stings, Part 3

(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1: “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2: “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1: “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)

(In London, if you’re pregnant you can apply for a pin-on badge that says, “Baby on board,” so that people can offer you their seat on public transport — if they want to — without having to having to guess if someone is pregnant or just shapely. I am about seven months pregnant and have a badge, but I’m only going to be on board about ten minutes. I get on, and it’s packed, but I can stand. It’s no big deal, as I’m off the train at the next stop. A few seconds later, a Polish teenager offers me a seat. I decline, but thank him and let him know that I’m off on the next stop, anyway. I turn away and get my water out of my bag only to hear a middle-aged man in a suit start to rant. He is seated further down the carriage.)

Middle-Aged Man: “Those f****** immigrants. No manners. He’s just sitting there. Not even offering that pregnant lady his seat. He should be ashamed.” *gestures to the Polish man*

(We all ignore him, and I shoot the young guy who offered me a seat an apologetic smile. Suddenly, a little old lady further down the carriage marches up and hits the ranting man’s shin with her umbrella.)

Old Lady: “I heard that young man offer her his seat! You can bloody talk! You’re in priority seating. You’re the one that’s meant to move for the less-abled. It says it right above your head. He might be Polish, but you can’t even read English!”

(The man in a suit went bright red and got off the train at the next stop. He disembarked so quickly that he almost knocked over several other passengers.)