Great stories from our entire backlog!
Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for the birthstone for May.”
Me: “Well, the birthstone for May is emerald, but we don’t carry any emeralds.”
(The customer walks over and looks in the case. She sees a green stone.)
Customer: “What about this green one?”
Me: “Oh! That’s peridot. That’s the birthstone for August.”
Customer: “Who’s August?”
Me: “Thank you for calling [University] admissions. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi. I’d like to register my daughter for a campus tour and info session.”
Me: “Great! Can I have her name?”
Caller: “Sure. Her name is [Name].”
(Many times, students are already in our system. We check the high school to make sure it’s the correct person.)
Me: “Does she go to [Name] high school?”
Caller: “Oh my God! Yes! Are you psychic?”
This story is part of the College-Admission-Fails roundup!
Read the next College-Admission-Fails roundup story!
Read the College-Admission-Fails roundup!
(I work the door sometimes at a local bar, and it normally goes as follows:)
Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”
Girl #1: “Yeah, sure. Here it is.”
Me: “Thanks, hmm… This doesn’t look like you.”
Girl #1: “Well, you can ask me anything on it. I know all of it.”
(I ask her friend that is trying to come in with her.)
Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”
Girl #2: “Umm…”
Me: “Thought so.” *handing back her ID* “You have a nice night, and maybe pay for your fake next time.”
(My husband and I have a favorite game store because they tend to treat females very well. We have a two-year-old daughter who has been loving the games as much as we have.)
Cashier: “Is that all for you?”
Husband: “Oh, I have a few pre-orders to make.”
Cashier: “No problem.”
(I’m holding our daughter. I find a game case she likes, ‘Assassin’s Creed’.)
Me: “Look baby, it is your favorite!”
Daughter: “Ezio!”
Cashier: “Did she just!?”
Me: “No, no, this is Conner. But I bet he is just as cool as—”
Daughter: “No! Ezio! Ezio! Ezio!”
(I didn’t know what was better: My daughter saying Ezio’s name over and over, or the cashier trying to stay professional and not squeal at a two year old.)
(I’m an aquarium employee. As I’m standing in the coral reef tunnel, a few high school age kids walk up near me, looking up at the fish.)
Me: “Good afternoon, guys! Enjoying the aquarium?”
Teen #1: “Yeah…” *to his friends, pointing at the tank* “Hey, check out the puffer fish!”
Teen #2: “Oh, cool!” *to me* “Does it ever puff up?”
Me: “It’s pretty used to people, and there are no predators in there, so it wouldn’t puff itself up unless maybe a diver were to startle or threaten it in the tank.”
Teen #1: “Can you startle it and make it puff up for us?”
Me: *wondering how or why I would even do that* “No…”
Teen #2: *suddenly forgetting the puffer and pointing instead at the cownose stingrays in the tank* “Hey! Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”
Teen #1, Teen #3, & Me: “What?!”
Teen #2: “Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”
Me: “Uh… no. I’m pretty certain he died at the Alamo in the 19th century…” *thinks for a bit* “Did you mean Steve Irwin?”
Teen #2: “Yeah! Same thing.”
Me: “Not really…”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
