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Don’t Be Tardis With His Order

| Right | March 21, 2013

(I am filling boxes for to-go orders. An order comes back without a name, so my boss gives me permission to write ‘Dr. Who’ on the box.)

Boss: “We’ve got a to-go!”

Me: “Sorry guys, I don’t have enough information on these grilled cheese sandwiches. And there’s not a name or phone number.”

Boss: “Oh, shoot.”

Me: “Should we wait until they get here?”

Boss: “We’ll just give them cheddar. If they don’t want them, we’ll make them new ones.”

(I write up the boxes with ‘Dr. Who’ and make the order. I see a young man picking up the no-name order. The following week…)

Waitress: “We’ve got an order from Doctor Who!”

Me: “Wait, really?”

Waitress: “Yep. He told me on the phone that he liked what we did with the boxes.”

(I check the ticket. It’s the same thing the young man ordered last week, with ‘Dr. Who’ written in the name spot. Looks like one of our regulars has a new nickname!)

The Elderly Fight Change

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2011

(I’m working the counter of a busy service station. An elderly customer comes in to pay.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Just pump six and the LPG today?”

Customer: *producing his bankcard* “Yes, that’s all, thanks.”

Me: “Great, your total is $46.71.” *rings up sale and waits for him to enter his PIN*

Customer: “Can I have my change?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “My change.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I’m really sorry, but I’m not quite sure what change you mean.”

Customer: “What’s my total again?”

Me: “$46.71.”

Customer: “Great, can I have my change?”

Me: “Sir, you’re paying by card. You won’t get change as you will be paying the exact amount electronically.”

Customer: “Oh, I see.”

(He is pressing buttons on the keypad, but has not selected an account.)

Me: “Sir, you need to select an account.”

Customer: “Yes, I’ve done that.”

Me: “You want ‘Cheque’” or ‘Savings’?”

(He finally selects ‘Cheque’ and enters in a PIN. After a few seconds, it comes up declined as he has entered an incorrect PIN.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’ve entered an invalid number for your PIN. I need you to try again.”

(I ring up the sale again, and make sure he selects ‘Cheque’ again. He seems very confused.)

Customer: “What was my total again? I want to get this right.”

Me: “Forty-six dollars and seventy-one cents, sir.”

Customer: “Okay!” *punches in numbers and announces them out loud* “4-6-7-1!”

Me: “Hang on, sir. You’re entering your total instead of your PIN.”

Customer: “Well, yes.”

Me: “The total is already in our computer. You need to enter the PIN for your card so the sale goes through.”

Customer: “Oh. What’s my PIN, then?”

Me: “Would you prefer to pay cash, sir?”


This story is part of the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!

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Sure, But It’ll Make You Yelp

, , | Right | May 19, 2009

Me: “Tech support, how may I help you?”

Caller: “I have to pay this fee and I need to get to y’all’s website.”

Me: “Sure, our address is [website URL].”

Caller: “I don’t want your address. I want to know where to go on my computer.”

Me: “Sir, that’s the address of our site. All you need to do is type it in your browser’s address bar.”

Caller: “Oh, so do I stick that in my Google?”

Magic Eye Camera

| Right | April 30, 2013

(I speak with a woman about her lost cell-phone, which she left in the store. She is very worried that her identity will be stolen. I take her information in case the phone shows up. She has come back two nights in a row, looking for her phone.)

Me: “Hi, the phone still hasn’t turned up?”

Customer: “No, I called loss prevention, and he told me he saw some…” *she does air quotes* “‘activity’ on the security video, but no phone being left or picked up. That is just not good enough for me; I need to know what kind of activity he saw.”

Me: “Well, sometimes it is hard to focus on exactly what you want because we are only looking at a recording.”

Customer: “Well, can’t he just move the cameras around and see where I left my phone?”

Me: “Well, as I said, it is only a recording. We can only see footage of where the camera was focused at the time.”

Customer: “I know, but why didn’t he just move the camera and tell me where I left my phone?”

Me: “It occurred in the past; he can’t go back in time and move what the cameras were looking at.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand what I am saying.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Well I am going to be filing a police report; maybe they can see more than your loss prevention person!”

Sloth Goes Shopping

, , , | Right | September 1, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I direct your call?”

Caller: “Are you in the store?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Good. Me, too.”

Me: “Sir, what can I help you with?”

Caller: “I need to know where [item] is. I didn’t want to walk around the store to look.”

Me: “It is in aisle five, sir.”

Caller: “You aren’t going to come and show me? You guys are lazy!” *click*


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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