Popcorn Forlorn, Part 3

Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Massachusetts, Movie Theater, USA, Wild & Unruly | Right | November 13, 2020

I’m a shift lead at a national chain movie theater and we’re working a busy Friday night. A certain underage wizard is having yet another blockbuster weekend and we’re short-staffed thanks to callouts.

I’m running between the box office and concessions, working a register at both depending on need. I’m the only one on the floor with a key to get into the candy closet. I’m doing my best to keep it upbeat but my patience is growing thin.

Despite that, I greet my customer with an overly cheerful smile.

Me: “Welcome to [Theater Chain]! Would you like to try a combo?”

Customer: “Small popcorn with nacho cheese on it.”

Me: “Cheese on the popcorn?”

Customer: “Yeah, nacho cheese on the popcorn.”

I’ve been working at this theater for a few years. We’ve tried everything on everything when we’re bored. (Butter snocone anyone?) And hot nacho cheese on top of popcorn just turns into a gross mess of cheese and popcorn kernels. It’s gross after the first two pieces.

Me: “Can I suggest the cheese in a cup? The popcorn and the bag don’t hold up to the hot cheese very well. It’s much easier to eat the popcorn if you dip it.”

Customer: “I said nacho cheese on the popcorn.”

I get everything else together and make another attempt at convincing her to get the cup of cheese.

Me: “If you get the cup it’s actually a little tray and it helps hold everything. Otherwise, it’s a mess.”

Customer: “I just want the d*** cheese on my popcorn.”

I do as she asks and send her on her way to her movie. Twenty minutes later, we still have a line and she storms past everyone to the front. She slams the bag down and I can hear it squish, as I knew it would.

Customer: “I can’t eat this f****** mess. Give me another popcorn and cheese in a cup!”

I smile my saccharine-sweet customer-service smile.

Me: “I’m sorry, but free refills are only available on large popcorn buckets. And the cheese is an additional charge, as well.”

Customer: “Give me my money back, then!”

Me: “We don’t give refunds on food items unless the mistake was ours. I tried to tell you what would happen. And you were given the product you demanded.”

Customer: “Where’s the manager?!

Me: “Running the production booth; we had several callouts. If you’d like, I can give you his card.”

Customer: “Stupid b****!”

She threw the nasty bag of cheesy popcorn at me. I had her removed from the theater.

My car smelled like nachos for months.

This story is part of our Best Of November 2020 roundup!