Polly Wanna Wash Their Mouth Out With Soap?

I try to be helpful around my neighborhood. One of my neighbors is a little old lady who’s getting to be frail. Her husband died a few years back, and she needs assistance with more physical tasks.

I’ve been volunteering to help her out: helping carry groceries, replacing lightbulbs, and building trust. Today is the first time she’s trusted me enough to let me mow her lawn for her. After I’m done, she invites me in for some sweet tea and cookies.

In her dining room, there’s a massive cage with a big parrot in it. The parrot is all chirps and “pretty bird” while she’s in the room, but when she leaves to fetch the tea and cookies, the parrot goes abruptly quiet and gives me what I can only describe as “a look”. It mutters at me. 

Parrot: “F*** off.”

After that, my neighbor returned with tea and cookies, and we ate some while she reminisced about how the world has changed since she was young. The parrot went back to paying attention to her and, almost studiously, ignoring me.

Honestly, I found it hilarious. Next time, I’m going to bring some sort of treats for the parrot with me and see if I can get him to accept my presence.