Plunging Towards Hazard Pay

Me: “Sir… I really can’t return a used plunger…”

Customer: “But it didn’t work! I need a snake.”

Me: “You know what, why don’t you go get what you need and I’ll page the manager to see what he says?”

(The customer leaves and I page the manager, who waits for the customer to return.)

Manager: “Sir, we really can’t return a used plunger!”

Customer: “It didn’t work!”

Manager: “Is it defective?”

Customer: “No, it just didn’t work.”

Manager: “So, it’s not that there’s something wrong with the plunger, but that your situation requires something more than a plunger and you want to return the plunger that you already used?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: *to me* “Just return it and defect it.” *to customer* “This is the only time I’ll allow this. If the snake doesn’t work, you have to keep it and please, consider getting a plumber.”

(The manager leaves and I get to deal with disinfecting the plunger and my register. Later that day I see the cashier who handles defects…)

Me: “Hey, watch out for the plunger. It’s been used!”

Cashier: *horrified look*