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Plunging To The Bowels Of Sadism

| Related | February 5, 2013

(It is the day before my dad is going in for a colonoscopy and he hasn’t been allowed to eat anything other than clear broth and Gatorade all day. My mom has left ‘pre-approved colonoscopy prep foods’ labelled on a shelf for my dad. She has asked my 17-year-old sister not to cook anything too pungent while he is on his restricted foods. I walk in from work at 6:00 pm to the overwhelming smell of freshly fried bacon. My dad is sitting on the couch looking miserable. My sister is sitting in the recliner across the room.)

Me: “Hey, who cooked bacon?”

Dad: “Your little sister thought it would be a great idea to make herself a bacon sandwich for dinner.”

Me: *to my sister* “Jeez, sadistic much?”

Sister: “Hey, I offered to make him one too, but all he wanted was that chicken broth crap Mom put in the fridge! I made extra bacon, if you’re still hungry, Dad.”

Me: *to my dad* “Do you want me to smack her so it isn’t considered child abuse?”