Plot Twist Of The Truth
(I work at a library that opens Monday through Saturday. It is the Tuesday after a long weekend following the celebration of Mexico’s Independence Day. When I walk in, my assistant looks to be almost in tears while talking to a customer on the phone. I decide to take the call from there.)
Me: “Good morning. This is the manager. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Oh, nothing with, really. Since you are all a bunch of lazy a**holes. Shame on you.”
Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I called on Sunday because I needed some very important information and no one picked up the phone. No one, you lazy b****!”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but, you see, we close Sundays. Any other day we are happy to help with any information.”
Customer: “Yeah? Well, explain this to me. I called yesterday and your s****y secretary didn’t even pick up the phone.”
Me: “Well, because of the long weekend, we were closed this particular Monday.”
Customer: “What the f***? You close when I need information? Are you deliberately doing this to upset me? This country doesn’t need people like you, you know?!”
Me: “You mean, people that celebrate its independence? That’s the reason we closed. Banks close this particular day too, you know?”
Customer: “What?! You mean banks were closed too?! Is this some kind of evil plan you’re all plotting against me?!”
(At this point, I decide I’ve had enough of her screaming.)
Me: “YES WE ARE! And now you know, you should never stop looking over your shoulder because we are after YOU.”
(We never heard from that customer again.)