Pleased As Punch With Their Ability

(My friends and I are at lunch. I choke on some food and manage to swallow it after a moment, but am left coughing and gasping.)

Friend #1: “[My Name], are you all right?!”

Me: “I’ll…” *coughs* “Be… fine…”

Friend #2: “Oh, my god, you’re choking!! I’ll help you.”

(She proceeds to literally punch me in the back, and as I happen to be standing, I stumble forward. After another moment of two of coughing, I finally manage to stop.)

Me: “What the h***, [Friend #2]!?”

Friend #2: “What? I was trying to help!”

(I’m a bit annoyed, but thankful she was trying. After lunch, Friend #1 and I are walking to class…)

Friend #1: “You know, she’s in my health class and we’re actually learning how to help conscious choking victims. And there was nothing about punching in the lesson…”

Me: “Dude, don’t ever let her ‘help’ me again.”