Gunning For Stupidity

(We are one minute from the last bell when the principal comes on the PA.)

Principal: “Attention students and staff, this is a lockdown. Repeat, this is a LOCKDOWN. This is NOT a drill.”

(There is a very real note of panic in her voice. We follow the procedures and sit there, dead silent and terrified, in the dark. They finally lift the lockdown and we leave, only to see what has to be half our county’s police force standing there. We go to our security officer.)

Classmate: “What the h*** happened?”

Officer: “You guys are never gonna believe this.”

Classmate: “Try us.”

Officer: “So two bounty hunters are chasing some criminal in a pickup. They follow him into the school driveway and he drives back out. They chase him around the neighborhood, and then the guy comes back in here and drives out again. But their car gets stuck behind a school bus.”

Classmate: “WHAT?”

Officer: “Yeah, behind a school bus. But instead of moving it back out, these idiot bounty hunters get out, pull out a TASER that looks like a gun, and put on ski masks. Then they chase the guy around the school grounds.”

Classmate: “…the Benny Hill theme song wasn’t playing while this happened, was it?”

Officer: “Right, and they say teenagers are stupid, huh? Guys, just be smarter than that.”

(Needless to say, we know better than to pull out something resembling a gun and run around schools with it.)