Please, Nobody Mention NKOTBSB

(I’m on the sales floor when a woman approaches me looking rather flustered.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “I just came from the other mall’s [unrelated store] and they are complete idiots over there! They told me this doesn’t exist! Do you have it?”

Me: “Well, our merchandise is very different from [unrelated store]. If we don’t have it I can point you out to where you can find it.”

Woman: “My son’s walking around the mall and I don’t want him to see me in here. Do you carry Avenged Sevenfold’s ‘Five Finger Death Punch’ shirt? The punk from the other mall laughed at me when I asked about it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you are misinformed. Five Finger Death Punch is another band.”

Woman: “No, it’s something on an Avenged Sevenfold shirt. Look! My son said it’s a shirt!”

(She shows me the list, which has “A7X/5FDP Shirt”, meaning either shirt would do.)

Me: “Ma’am, trust me. They are two totally separate bands. Here, let me show you.”

(I pull out my iPod and show her on my playlist that I am right, going as far as showing her both band lineups.)

Me: “Perhaps you didn’t read this right, it happens all the time.”

Woman: *she looks she’s ready to slap me in the face* “Are you stupid?! My son knows what he’s talking about and I’ll prove you wrong you stupid b****!”

(She calls her son on her cell phone and puts him on speakerphone.)

Woman: “This stupid sales girl thinks I’m retarded or something. Can you tell her about that Avenged Sevenfold shirt you want with that Death Punch thing?”

Son: “Mom, they’re two totally different bands. I tried to tell you that before you stormed out of [unrelated store].”

(There is a long pause.)

Me: “We do have shirts for both bands and they’re on sale Buy 1, Get 1 Free–”

(The woman promptly goes to our t-shirt shelves, finds what she’s looking for, and pays and leaves immediately, red-faced. My boss, who had witnessed the whole thing, was bent over the cash wrap in tears.)