Please Mind The Gap And Your Own Business

(I am visiting my sister for the weekend in London. She is 35, and I am 20. I am also a gay male. We are coming back from a show and are heading for the Underground station. I do not know my way around London very well, so I am following my sister. A man also heading for the train starts coming on to my sister.)

Man: “Hey there, that creep over there is following you around. I can take care of him, if you like?”

Sister: “No, thank you. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Man: “You sure? Don’t want a pretty girl like you getting into trouble; I’m more your type anyway.”

(I decide to intervene.)

Me: “Look, mate, let me make this clear to you; you are wrong on many, many levels. Firstly, she isn’t my type—frankly, you’re more my type. Secondly, she is my sister. Third, I am only following her because I don’t have a clue where I am. And finally—and this is where you can stop acting all macho to impress her—she’s engaged with two children. Any questions?”

(The man is speechless; he only manages a nod before running away.)

Sister: “Was he really your type?”

Me: “Seriously, that is what you got from that?”