Please Don’t Fix Dinner

(I’m trying to open a packet of popcorn. Getting frustrated, I leave my computer and walk into the kitchen.)

Boyfriend: “Do you need help with that?”

Me: “No.”

(I grab a knife and proceed to stab it several times.)

Boyfriend: “You needed help with that.”

Me: “No. Knives fix everything… except knife wounds.”

Boyfriend: “No, knives fix knife wounds; you just need a bigger knife!”