Please Don’t Be Here For Too Long

, , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(I work at a coffee shop in a rather posh mall. I am quite new at this job and have no experience at working before.)

Customer: “I’d like a [Coffee Beverage] to have here.”

Me: “Of course. May I have your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Umm, sorry, ma’am. May I have your name?”

Customer: *glares at me* “I’m having it here.”

Me: “I know that, ma’am, but may I please have your name?”

Customer: “WHY WOULD YOU NEED MY NAME WHEN I AM HAVING IT HERE?!”

Me: *startled* “Sorry, but we need it so that we can call out your name at the pick-up counter and give you the correct beverage.”

Customer: “I. Am. Having. It. HERE!”

Me: “I am aware of that but we still need your name, ma’am.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently while continuing to glare at me*

Me: *writes down any name that came to mind* “Thank you, ma’am, and have a nice day!”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and walked away looking annoyed*

(I was flabbergasted and genuinely confused for the rest of the day as the customer was a regular and had had no problem cooperating on past visits.)

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  • Dsru Bin

    Yay! They got rid of the homebuilt [email protected] comment system!

    • LegionOfDo

      For me it was always a Facebook comment system until they recently switched to Disqus. What system did they have you on?

      • Aku

        Yesterday it was something else. Asked for a name, a website, and the comment. Was weird.

        • Celoptra

          you do know that if you are LOGGED OUT of disqus or any other website..that is what it will look like?

          • Dsru Bin

            No, if you are logged out of Disqus, it will ask you to log in to Disqus. This was a completely different comment system.

          • Aku

            Exactly. There wasn’t a log in option, just what I said. Plus the fact that I never logged out, and now that it’s fixed I’m logged in without relogging.

          • NessaTameamea

            Yep, me too

          • Cathrope

            I was logged in Disqus and I got the crap comment thing.

        • Siirenias

          It’s the old old default comment system.

        • Dsru Bin

          As recently as 2 hours ago it was the old old system.

        • LegionOfDo

          Oh I see. I visit a few sites that have systems like that. Every time you want to comment you have to check your email and click a verification link, and even after that comments sometimes still don’t appear. Very frustrating.

        • Flami

          Hm. Not for me.

        • Sounds like the standard WordPress comment system (a lot of sites use it; I’m surprised you find it weird). Disqus operates as a plugin which hides the standard comment system and replaces it, but the standard system is still there: if Disqus failed to load for you, you’d see it.

          TRiG.

          • Aku

            I’ve seen it before, just thought it was weird that it suddenly changed from Disqus to that with no announcement. From the comments, it failed to load for quite a few people yesterday. I thought it was part of their attempt to bring the old comments back.

        • Gabby Signs

          I thought it was just mine. Glad it is fixed

    • Carl

      And the people rejoiced!

      • Dsru Bin

        I applauded.

        • So glad I missed that!

          • Dsru Bin

            Everyone here applauded. And I got free comments for life. And the Sysop’s Twitter handle.

          • Katrin Schirmer

            i was wondering what that was about. i was like, did they change it again and lose all the comments gain? glad thats not the case.

    • NessaTameamea

      Yesss! I was really scared there πŸ™

      • Dsru Bin

        I sent them a nasty email.

    • Gretchen

      I was so confused by it, thank god Disqus is back.

      • Hahn Ackles

        Ah, so it wasn’t just me. XD

        • Katrin Schirmer

          nope., it was everyone. confusion everywhere. πŸ˜›

    • Roq

      I was so sad when Disqus was gone, but I couldn’t talk about it.

    • TBF, that was the default comment system for WordPress blogs…. Most WordPress admins quickly get rid of it in favour of Facebook, Livefyre or Disquis πŸ˜›

  • Psyche Euridyce

    Having a bad day?

  • Ingrid Potter

    Where I work, people tell me “NO.” When I ask for a name. Thank goodness we serve food as well so I just type in a pager number. Geez I just want a name, not your SSN!

    • Siirenias

      “Large vanilla latte for NO! please!”

      • NessaTameamea

        Cue bulk of twenty people thinking it’s their order.

      • UrbanDweller64

        Large vanilla latte for the Red Head in the way too short mini-skirt.

    • Carrie C

      My ex used to give out fake names. He thought if people knew his real name, they would jump him. Even if he was 400 miles from home. Because total strangers automatically know if you are using your real name and will jump you.

      • Siirenias

        A demon’s truename is a powerful weapon.

      • Flami

        I hope his paranoia is why you dumped him.

    • Jenni Sowvlen

      But don’t you know that with a person’s first name you can access their SSN, credit card, and other personal information?

      • Martin Cohn

        I thought you owned their soul once you know their name. Maybe that’s a dog I’m thinking of…

        • BrickBat

          You may be on to something, I’ve never known a dog to give his “real” name….

  • Peachkins

    Maybe she was irritated that you didn’t already know who she was. At my last job, which was at a bank, we had people do that all the time. They’d come in and expect us to do stuff like withdrawing money for them from an account without presenting any kind of ID. Uh, no.

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      Stuff like that happens at my current job too. We offer a military discount and I’ve had people get mad at me for asking to see their military ID when I’ve served them before and seen it before. Yes, I do recognize them but I get at least a dozen customers on a daily basis and I’m not keeping track of who’s military and who isn’t.

      • What on earth is the point of a military discount?

        • EJ Nauls-Poland

          Just to show some appreciation to the people that serve.

        • Bonnie L

          I saved $90 today with my VA card! Perhaps happy customers come back & buy more stuff. I know I will. πŸ™‚

        • Laren Dowling

          Gratitude. You may have heard of it. In this case, showing a company’s gratitude for the folks who lay their lives on the line. Many of these same companies also offer discounts to firefighters, police, etc.
          It’s usually 10% off or less.

          • Kat Kirkpatrick

            I used to work at a fast food place in a kind of sketchy neighborhood. The owner gave all police, firefighters, military members and EMTs unlimited free coffee and a discount on their food to encourage them to visit often and linger. Something about a dining area full of uniformed officers kept the majority of the riff raff away.

      • Mushroom

        If someone asks for the military discount at my work, I give it to them. Most whip out their identification without being asked. And I’ve told people the reason why I don’t question it is “Because the only people who’d lie about service are politicians.”

    • Gretchen

      That is so annoying actually, retail workers see so many people every day and while a few faces can be familiar, it does not mean they remember all of their names. I still remember a girl coming up to me and being all buddy with me, talking about how “you certainly remember me, I’m a regular” and I just stared at her, because never in my life had I seen her. It is way easier for customers to remember retail workers they see regularly.

  • So, OP, when you called out any name that came to mind, did She Who Is Having It Here come get the correct drink? πŸ˜‰

    • Katrin Schirmer

      i would be tempted to write down ‘having it here’ as the name XD

  • grmrsan

    Just tell them to make something up. Or make up something fun and complimentary. “Ok, we’ll just call yours “Empress of Awesomeness”.

    • Max

      “OK, you’re Scrambles, you’re Drillbit, and you’re Candelabra.”

      • grmrsan

        Would work for me lol

    • NessaTameamea

      That actually sounds like fun. You can have awesome nicknames for your regulars.

    • Kerrie Mills

      I now want to be a barista again, just so I can implement this.

  • Kathy Plester

    I was in a Starbucks and they do this. This was some years ago but I was once behind this woman who is asked for her name, as they have done for a while. She just glares and says ‘None of your business’. The barista explains it’s just so she’ll know it’s hers when they call it out – she can give any name she wants as long as she’ll remember it – it doesn’t have to be her real name. Woman goes on a tirade about how every company everywhere want to now everything about her and really it’s none of their business. Barista gives up and doesn’t put a name on it so when they call it out, they call just the drink name out. Woman is just standing there, doesn’t pick up her drink even when they keep calling it. Then the barista waves at her and says ‘This is what you ordered, wasn’t it?’ woman snatches it from him and says ‘About time!’ and storms off to her seat, grumbling under her breath.

    Some people are just bat crap crazy.

    • Gabby Signs

      I work at Wendy’s and thankfully, no one has been like that so far

      • Kathy Plester

        It’s great when you work somewhere and get less of the crazies in. Hopefully it’ll last!

        • Gabby Signs

          The most annoying people so far are the people who come in 5 minutes to close, sit at the table I just finished cleaning, and stay for half an hour.

          • Kathy Plester

            My husband used to be a waiter and he hated people who came in right before closing, kicked off that they didn’t have much left and demanded free meals because they had hardly anything left … at 15 minutes to closing in a busy restaurant near a holiday resort.

          • Charles Ulric Phillips

            If I go to a restaurant in the late evening, I’ll always ask when they close, and only stay if there’s close to an hour or longer left (unless they insist I stay like one place did.)

          • Gabby Signs

            I don’t think I have had anyone ask what time we close unless they’ve been there for 1/2 hour

    • Leiko Burningbear

      If I worked in such a place, I’d so write “None Of Your Business” on the cup.

      (There is a reason I do not even attempt to work such jobs. I’d likely set a record for shortest employment time.)

      • UrbanDweller64

        You just made me laugh. I work in a hearing aid centre and as such, we need a person’s birthdate and provincial medical number. I had a woman simply tell me that it was not needed for a hearing test. I told her it was a medical test and a real audiogram would be issued and a birthdate was required. I guess she never thought of it as a medical test. :/

      • Kathy Plester

        xD She still wouldn’t have taken the cup. I’m wondering if she expected it to be brought over because she just ignored the calls it as only when the guy brought it over and she was all like ‘took you long enough’. So basically this woman expected waiter service at a Starbucks …?

        You know what if you were working there and did that, I’d stick up for you.

        “Well that’s what you said what asked what your name was, right? Nunya Bisness? That’s an exotic name.’

  • AlΓ©theia

    I would have put “Having It Here” as her name, but that also would probably get me fired. Hm…

    • Katrin Schirmer

      yup, i would so do that. she clearly thinks that’s her name. so so tempting.

  • James Smith

    I look at that as an opportunity to have fun.

    “Can I have a name?” “What, didn’t your mother give you one?”

    “Can I have your name, please?” “Blind Mississippi Slim.”

    “What’s the name for the order?” “Hmm, I don’t know. Naming is such a big responsibility! Let’s call it Mildred.”

    One of these days I’m going to see myself in one of these stories, I just know it.

    • Sofiya

      You take pride in this?

      • Rebecca Charlton

        I totally would. However I don’t drink coffee and don’t live in the land of Starbucks.

      • James Smith

        Never thought of it in terms of pride. But I do take enjoyment in it. Why be ordinary?

      • Cally

        I would, if I ever went into these types of establishments.
        I never understand it, mainly because even if you give a name some idiot will take your drink because they’re either too impatient or stupid to get the right one.

    • Siirenias

      The second one has great potential if you go with friends, and all respond and argue who’s the real Slim.

    • arglebargle

      I’m actually kinda down with that myself. As long as it’s not mean-spirited and you have a barista who likes to have fun.

      Bo-ber-ley, bo-na-na fanna
      Fo-fer-ley. fee fi mo-mer-ley, Shirley!

      • James Smith

        Oh, no, totally not mean spirited. I say it with a grin on my face and a twinkle in my eye, and most of the time it’s well received. Once in a while I get a blank look, but then again my sense of humor results in blank looks a lot, so I just assume they’ll get it later.

        • Katrin Schirmer

          just try not to do it when they are really busy. they probably wont appreciate it as much then.

      • Martin Cohn

        Chuck!

        Charles Charles bo barles, banana fana fo farles…

        I remember Ann Margaret singing “The Name Game” on a Bob Hope special and it didn’t make any sense to me why they changed the name. The odd things you remember from childhood.

  • Cathrope

    I use to go to a taco Bell and I’d use “Starscream or Megatron” until a worker had a major hissy fit over it. I no longer go to that Taco Bell.

    • Katrin Schirmer

      really? someone through hissy fit about that? i would laugh about it.

    • “&$#^$^#$^$#^$^%$#%@!$^@^@#$^”
      You: *silently stares until the hissy fit calms down* “Yeah, put the name Megatron on there please.

      Rinse and repeat until they comply. πŸ˜›

      • Also, bonus points for Transformers, but lose points for not being autobots πŸ˜›

        • Cathrope

          Most people can’t spell Optimus Prime

          • I find that very disturbing, to be honest…

          • Cathrope

            Find what disturbing?

          • That people can’t spell Optimus Prime. It seems like a very easy thing to spell to me.

          • Kelli

            Opptamus. Like the animal. πŸ˜‰

        • Darth Hideous

          As a Sith I approve the use of Decepticons.

    • UrbanDweller64

      I think I’d go back and use Deadpool, myself.

    • Charles Ulric Phillips

      I tend to use Bruce Wayne or Batman.

      Occasionally Sparticus, so far nobody’s tried to take my drink.

  • Zack Wagoner

    “I am quite new at this job and have no experience at working before.”
    “the customer was a regular and had no problem…on past visits.”
    Um, what?

    • Iceraa

      “Quite new and have no Experience at working before” = I’ve only been here a couple days to a week or two (maybe a month) and it’s their first job.
      Since they are a regular they could come in every day, or every couple of days so they may have seen them a couple times before.

      • Also possible a coworker filled in that information behind the scenes.

        • Iceraa

          That is a very viable possibility!

  • Michael David

    I hate customers like that. It’s for your convenience more than ours. We could care less who you are, we just want to make sure YOU get the right food/drink.

  • I clicked the comment button to provide my thoughts on an explanation before I finished reading it…

    I was going to say in some parts of the world, they give you a table number and bring the coffee to your table, instead of asking for a name.

    But then the page loaded and I finished reading it and she’s a regular?

    … I guess she really needed that coffee then, because her brain wasn’t functioning…

  • Γ“lafur

    (One hour later)

    Customer: Hey! Is my coffee ready yet?

    Me: Yes, it’s been ready for about 45 minutes now.

    Customer: Well, why didn’t you call for me?

    Me: You never gave me your name, how was I supposed to call for you?

  • Timothy Phipps

    write their name down as “I’m having it here” and call it as that

  • Ironic, given it sounds like she’s not all there.

  • Denton Young

    Early stages of dementia?

  • Novelista

    I guess it was too hard to write “I’m Having it Here” on the cup? xD

  • JDP

    They tried making us do this at our store, but the customers really weren’t into it; I always told me they could just give me a fake name, since it’s just for show for my boss. The only situation we do it is for special occasions, like a parade or something going by and we know we’ll have a line out the door for hours.

  • Mushroom

    If this customer is a regular, why did you need to ask her name?

    • Laren Dowling

      Because the OP is new (she says so at the beginning). Also, not everyone has a great memory for names, especially when they’re only processing it long enough to write it on a cup, and then it’s on to the next name.

  • AichSmize

    She told you her name, it was “I am having it here”. So make the drink then call out “Drink’s ready for I Am Having It Here! I am having it here, your drink is ready!”

  • EffityJeffity

    What would I like? A large cappucino please.
    My name? Large cappucino.

  • Kitty

    This is a regular, but you don’t know their name? Or a name that they tend to use when ordering?

    • Laren Dowling

      No. There are probably dozens of regulars, and she admits to being new to the job. Quite frankly, even if she wasn’t new, not everyone will remember every (or even any) regular’s name when in the midst of morning rush.

    • Marianne

      You may recognize her face but necessarily her name.

  • emax4

    “One weak coffee for ‘I. AM. HAVING. IT. HERE.?”

  • Richard Da Bunny

    *deadpan stare* “Your order number is 66, please step aside.”

  • Datapath

    If you don’t give me a name I’m going to call you “Bat Man”.

  • Kelli

    β€œI have a waka waka gruntie three-quarter plasma no salt bundahoo for HAVING IT HERE….”

  • Lieve Van Bellingen

    I would have written ‘I’m having it here’ on her cup 😏

  • Marianne

    Maybe she had a friend who told her it wasnt necessary to ask for names…

  • Anne

    After her initial outburst, I would’ve just written “having it HERE” and then called out for her that way. “Latte for having it HERE.” What a self-entitled snob.

  • Large soy mocha with no whip for “I. Am. Having. It. HERE!”

  • Charles Ulric Phillips

    “I’ve got a latte for I’M HAVING IT HERE”