Plastic Makes Them Hotter Than The Peppers

(I am a cashier at a grocery store. Very often customers will not bag their produce, and we have to handle each item of food.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today? I hope you found everything you need.”

Customer: “Paper.”

Me: “Okay, no problem; we have plenty of paper bags.”

(I begin scanning and weighing the produce items.)

Me: “Make sure you wash all of this really well, because I haven’t washed this equipment or my hands since my shift started.”

Customer: “Ugh! Don’t they let you wash your hands?”

Me: “No, not unless it is my break. I have to stay at my work station. I always suggest that people use the plastic bags in the produce area because I handle money, people’s store cards, raw packaged meat, trash on the floor, and whatever else comes my way.”

Customer: “Well, I hate plastic! It is evil!” *rants*

(As I come to the end of the items, I notice several fat, juicy jalapeño peppers. I grab a plastic bag and use it to fish the peppers out of the cart and place them on the scale.)

Customer: “I TOLD YOU I HATE PLASTIC! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Me: “I am allergic to jalapeños and will not be able to wash my hands until my break.”

Customer: “You should respect my wishes and not use plastic for my order!”

Me: “I understand, but for me, the plastic bag is a safety device, and for my protection, I have to use the plastic to handle the peppers.”

(Her eyes bulged, and she huffed and puffed her way over to the customer service desk to call me a bad employee to my superiors. Then, the plastic-hating customer stomped her way through the parking lot to her suburban land yacht. Since my manager refused to discipline me, she called our corporate HQ to describe how poorly I had treated her. Up and down, and round and round went the investigation of my lack of customer service. I got a finger shaken at me by corporate HQ and a “coaching” on how I could have ensured my personal safety without insulting the customer. They even used the incident as a talking point at ALL of the customer service training meetings EXCEPT the one I was registered to attend.)