Planes, Trains, But Gladly No Police Cars

I live quite close to a major airport. My two-and-a-half-year-old son loves watching the planes that fly over every few minutes. One day, I decided to take him to the panorama terrace at the airport. We have a lovely morning and lunch there. But in the afternoon, the little guy gets tired, and it’s time to go home.

He does NOT want to go, so he’s not only tired but grumpy too. Any parent of a toddler knows the situation: it’s tantrum time. I check the train times and realise we can just about make the next train home.

So, there I am: an overweight, bearded dude power walking a screaming toddler across the airport plaza. Of course, I’m going to be stopped by a police officer duo.

Officer: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Me: “Yeah, we’re fine, I’m trying to catch a train.”

Officer: *Gesturing to my son.* “I understand, but real quick: what is he to you?”

Me: “He is my son.”

Officer: “Any way you can prove that?”

Now, in the Netherlands, it’s not mandatory for young children to have a government-issued ID with them, only when going abroad. But my kid is calmed down enough by the imposing two officers in front of us, so I can improvise a bit.

Me: *Pointing at my son.* “Who are you?”

Son: “[His Name].”

Me: *Pointing at myself.* “And who am I?”

Son: “Papa!”

Officer: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

Me: “Thanks, you too.”

I made that train with seconds to spare.