Plan On Pointless Paranoia

(A young (white) man has come into our supermarket with a very large, heavy-looking sports bag, which he leaves near the front of the shop so he can do his shopping.)

Deputy manager: *to me* “Whose is that bag? Did you see whose bag that is?”

Me: “I think it’s that man’s over there. He just put it down to do his shopping.”

Deputy manager: “Did you see him put it down? Are you sure it’s his?”

Me: “I didn’t, but there’s nobody else in the shop, so I assume it’s his. He looks sporty and it looks like a sports bag.”

(At this point, I assume my DM will let it go. The man doesn’t look suspicious, and there’s no reason to suspect anything. Then my DM shows just how worried and paranoid he is.)

Deputy manager: “You’ve got to be careful in these times! There could be anything in there! You hear about bombings and other things all the time!”

Me: “Calm down, it’s fine. It’s 5 pm on a Sunday, in a tiny discount supermarket in a nothing town. There’s nobody here. Who would want to blow us up?”

Deputy manager: “I tell you, if he had a turban on you’d be feeling a lot different. You never know what they’re planning.”

Me: *utterly speechless*

(Thankfully, he quit that week!)