Pizza Is What Drives You Home

(It’s midwinter and raining, and I’ve gotten off work quite late, so I decide to pick up a pizza for my family and take a cab home to save time. I ask the cabbie if it is okay, and he says no problem. We start driving toward my apartment.)

Driver: “To be honest with you, I’m starving. I was just thinking about taking a break and grabbing some dinner. I hope you don’t mind me cracking the windows? The smell’s driving me crazy.”

Me: *awkwardly* “Haha, no problem! Sorry about this.”

(As he drives, he keeps making small comments about how hungry he is. I’m feeling really guilty, and I half-considered trying to leave him a slice. We get to my apartment and I pay.)

Driver: “Thank you for riding with [Taxi Service]. Make sure you don’t leave anythi— Actually, it’s fine if you do.”