Pissed Off That You’re Not

(I tend to be very clumsy and take several falls a year that result in injuries where I can’t stand for long periods. My restaurant doesn’t have a problem with this and they usually put me in the back where I can use a chair and no customers can see me. Unfortunately, one morning, I have to sit on my stool at the front register where the customers can see me.)

Manager: “[Coworker] comes in at six so I can move you then. I will get your drinks and food so you don’t have to get up.”

Me: “Thanks. We shouldn’t be too busy this early. I think we’ll manage.”

(The phone rings so he goes back to the office to answer it as a customer walks through the door.)

Me: “Good morning, sir! How can I help you this morning?”

Customer: “You want to know how you can help me? You can get off your fat a** and get me some coffee! I can’t believe they are letting you be so lazy.”

Me: “I can certainly get you some coffee, sir. Will that be the medium size today?”

Customer: “No! I want the large. And fill it to the brim!”

Me: “Of course, sir. Would you like your coffee black?”

Customer: “Six creams. On the side! And two sugars in the cup.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. It will be [total].”

(I take the customer’s money but my manager has not yet returned.)

Me: “[Manager]! Could I have some help, please?”

Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! You’re what’s wrong with the world today! People like you, lazy and always getting other people to do everything for you. Why did they ever hire some stupid kid like you?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know, it could have to do with the fact I have been working here for three years and have an outstanding performance record despite the fact I am terribly clumsy and often injure myself. Or maybe it’s because I am always in a good mood no matter what and I am very good at handling some of our more unruly customers.”

Customer: “What did you just call me, you little brat?!”

Me: “Sir, I am truly hurt that you would think I was referring to you! I can completely understand your attitude, as I have yet to bring you your coffee. However, as much as I would like to get your coffee for you and wish you a happier morning, I cannot walk on my knee at the moment. Hence the chair.”

Manager: “I’m sorry that took forever. Good morning, sir! Have you been helped?”

Customer: “No! I have not!”

Me: “This gentleman paid for a large coffee filled to the brim with two sugars in the cup and six creams on the side.”

(My manager makes it quickly and the customer curses and mumbles about me the whole time.)

Me: “Have a great day, sir!”

Customer: “Go to h***!”

Manager: “What did you do?”

Me: “I remained calm and very polite while he tried to berate me… I think it pissed him off!”