Piss Poor Pizza Poacher
Me: “Hello, [Pizza Place]. how can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I’m supposed to get a free pizza because you guys made it wrong last time.”
Me: “Okay, sir, can I have your address, please?”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “So I can look up your credit; we file them by address.”
(He gives me his address, which isn’t in the file. I try every possible means to verify his story, and am finally convinced that he’s lying.)
Me: “Did the person you dealt with last time ask for your address?”
Customer: “No, they just said I could have a free pizza.”
Me: “Did they happen to give you their name?”
Customer: “No, it was just some guy.”
(I’m the only male manager at the restaurant.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you a free pizza.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Because I have no record of it. I can’t just give pizza away to anybody who says we screwed up.”
Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Excuse me?! What is your name?”
Me: “My name is ‘guy-who’s-not-giving-you-a-free-pizza.’ What’s yours?”
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!”
Me: “I am the manager.”
Customer: “Well, haven’t you ever heard that the customer is always right?”
Me: “Yes, that’s what people say when they’re trying to rip us off.” *click*
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Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.