Pinot-No-No

, , , , , , | Right | December 17, 2020

I am working in a small English village pub. We’re not the fanciest, but we do quite well.

I am serving a regular when I’m interrupted.

Man: “Excuse me! I was here before that man! I deserve to be served first.”

The man he is referring to has been sat at the bar for two hours, so his statement is unlikely.

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. What can I get you?”

Man: “What red wines do you have? Do you have rioja or chianti?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t sell rioja, chianti, or pinot noir by the glass; we do sell it by the bottle. If you only want a glass, we do have merlot, shiraz, pinotage, and a malbec.”

Man: “I’ll have a pint of [Italian beer], and I’ll go and ask my wife about the wine.”

Me: “Sounds good!”

I pour his beer and he comes back a few minutes later.

Man: “I’ll have a glass of the pinot, please.”

Me: “We don’t sell pinot noir by the glass. Did you mean the pinot grigio?”

Man: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “Are you sure? If your wife wants a red wine, she might not be happy with—”

Man: “Just get me the sodding wine!”

I pour the wine and take his money. A few minutes later, a red-faced woman comes to the bar.

Woman: “What sort of idiot mixes up a pinot grigio and a pinot noir?!”

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