Pigheaded Comments

(I am one of two white people joining an all-Spanish department. No one realizes I am bilingual.)

Coworker: “Hi, how are you today?”

Me: “Fine, and you?”

Coworker: “Okay.”

(She turns to one of the others and jerks her head towards me.)

Coworker: *in Spanish* “She’s a fat pig.”

(I whip around and jerk my head towards her.)

Me: *in Spanish* “…and she’s an ignorant moron.” *in English* “You have a nice day.”

(The ignorant moron hasn’t stopped sucking up to me since!)