Piercing Judgments, Part 3

(I’m a waitress at a popular tavern. We’re lucky, in that the owners and managers of the bar fully back up the staff when customers are rude to us. I have a septum piercing and two small scars on my lip from old piercings. An older couple and a few of their friends have just sat down.)

Me: “Hey, guys! Can I get you anything to drink?”

Customer: “Have you had those piercings in very long?”

Me: “Oh, the nose ring I’ve had since I was in high school. I took out my lip piercings a few years ago, though.”

Customer: “Ugh. You’d be so much prettier without all that garbage in your face.”

(I reply with my ‘aggressive smile’ on.)

Me: “Wow. Thank you for your completely rude and unsolicited opinion. Since my face offends you so much, feel free to order all of your beers and food up at the bar from now on.”

(As I’m walking away to help my other tables, the customer’s wife grabs my arm quite roughly and yanks me back.)

Customer’s Wife: “Ignore him. He just likes talking s***. Can we get some beers now?”

Me: “I really appreciate your incredibly sincere apology. Until you can get your husband to stop ‘talking s***’ to complete strangers, especially those who are waiting on you, you might consider keeping him on a leash.”

(One of my regulars at the next table overhears the entire exchange. He leaves me a $20 tip and a note with ‘I like your garbage face!’ written on it.)