Picked A Bad Place To Be So Hot-Headed

I own and operate my own retail stores. They’re actually seasonal firework tents, but not like any tent you’ve seen before. They’re a massive fireworks heaven, where the party and the insanity climax on the Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve.

In case you didn’t see it on the news, in 2020, the US demand for fireworks leading up to the 4th of July was up by more than 200%. I’m guessing it was a combination of people wanting to blow off steam and cities cancelling firework shows. As you can imagine, the entire sales period was a madhouse, with lots of stores running out of fireworks early. I was actually way overstocked, or at least I thought I was.

In the beginning of 2020, the firework factories in China were unexpectedly shut down for months due to the [global health crisis] outbreak, causing a national shortage of fireworks in the US. Luckily for me, I had actually accepted a late shipment of fireworks near the end of 2019 that someone else had refused. Sometimes dumb luck beats careful planning. Welcome to owning your own business!

By late afternoon on the Fourth, we were busier than I had ever thought possible. Apparently, we were just about the only place nearby with fireworks still on the shelf, and people were pouring in from all over. We were stocking as fast as we could, and some of our most popular items were quickly running out.

I was bouncing around and trying to help as many people as possible when one of my employees flagged me down. He had some guys who were giving him a hard time, and they wanted to see the manager. I walked over and introduced myself to two guys who were probably in their late twenties. They were immediately rude, informing me that they had driven over an hour to buy a specific mortar pack and that I needed to make it worth their while. They insisted on a 50% discount for their gas and inconvenience. I straight-up cry-laughed in their faces. Seriously, if you want a deal on fireworks, don’t wait until the last minute when I’m getting hammered and selling out of everything.

Me: “You see those boxes on the shelf? That’s all I have left. The deal is that you should buy one now before they’re all gone.”

Them: “Blah, blah, I can get them cheaper somewhere else, blah, blah…”

Idiots, you just told me you drove an hour because I’m the only place that has any left.

As I watched the remaining boxes disappearing…

Me: “Seriously, you should grab it now if you want them.”

Them: “Blah, blah, this other firework store always gives us a discount, blah, blah…”

As a woman grabbed the last box in front of us…

Me: “Gentlemen, the problem has been solved. We’re all sold out.”

Apparently, this kicked the stupidity into overdrive.

One of the guys started shouting and tried to take the last box from the woman who had just picked it up. I stepped between them and let them know that it was time for them to leave. They continued yelling at me and kindly offered to kick my a*** and set the place on fire, getting the attention of pretty much everyone in the place… including the uniformed off-duty police officer that I hire for security.

I told the officer that I was too busy to bother with them and to just tell them to leave. He ran their information and let them debate life in the back of his car for thirty minutes anyway. I hope they found a store with sparklers and snaps left on their long drive home.