Physically Impossible

| Learning | June 28, 2015

(Our class is waiting in the corridor outside the science lab for our first physics class. We have been warned that our teacher is very strict about arriving on time and so are all there a few minutes before class begins. I am forgetful and frequently late, but have managed to get to this class early.)

Friend #1: “Oh, good, you’re here on time. [Friend #2] was worried you’d get into trouble with [Physics Teacher] for being late.”

Friend #2: “Well, [Older Student] said he gives detentions if you’re even a couple of minutes late. He’s really strict.”

(The class in the lab next to ours show up a few minutes later, as they have a more relaxed teacher. Their teacher shows up and lets them into the lab. Our teacher does not appear. It is now five minutes past when our class is meant to start.)

Friend #1: *sudden realisation* “What if he’s already in the lab and thinks we’re ALL late?”

(She checks the lab through the tiny window in the (locked) door, but there’s no one in there. Ten minutes pass. Rampant speculation begins.)

Friend #2: “Maybe he’s crashed his car or something?”

Classmate #1: “Maybe he’s ill?”

Classmate #2: “Maybe he’s waiting in one of the other labs?”

(Classmate #2 goes to check, only for one of the other science teachers to tell us off for disrupting her class.)

Angry Science Teacher: “Why aren’t you all in class?!”

Friend #1: “Our teacher hasn’t arrived yet, miss, and the lab is locked.”

Angry Science Teacher: “Well you’re all being far too loud! You’re disrupting my class, so be quiet!”

(Over the remainder of the class time, their teacher came to yell at us for being too loud, despite the fact that for a class of around thirty kids, we are being pretty darn quiet, with everyone making an effort to keep their conversations to a whisper. Somebody suggests that she could open the lab so we could sit in there while we wait, but she declares that we are so rowdy that we are clearly not to be trusted in any classroom unsupervised. FIVE MINUTES before the bell rings for our next class, our physics teacher shows up and lets us in. His first words?)

Physics Teacher: “You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! [Angry Science Teacher] has just told me how you spent all lesson yelling and interrupting her class. Did it even occur to you to open your textbooks??”

(He spent the whole five minutes of our ‘class’ screaming at us for being too noisy while we waited for him, and actually kept us back so we all got in trouble for being late to our next class. Worse, the next week the exact same thing happened. It turns out he had managed to double book himself at two different schools for our lesson, and he never made any effort to correct to problem. Every physics lesson for the next ten weeks was just us waiting in the corridor, being yelled at by the Angry Science Teacher and then being told off by him for five minutes before the class was over. Surprisingly enough, we didn’t learn much physics that term!)

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