Beard Bad Wolf

(My fiancé and I are in a parking lot and he is in the process of unlocking his car. I am tugging the handle and saying ‘let me in! let me in!’)

Fiancé: “Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!” *he has a beard*

Me: “Then I’ll cut them off!”

Fiancé: “That’s not how it goes!”

Me: “Well, I can’t huff and puff my way into your car!”

Fiancé: “That’s because I’m the third pig and you can’t knock my s*** over!”