Made Your Bed, Now You Must Lie In it

(My boyfriend and I go to different schools for college, so when we are home on winter break, we try to spend a lot of time together. We are both staying at our parents’ houses, but I am house-sitting for a friend who doesn’t mind if we stay there together. My phone rings while we are ‘relaxing’ on the guest bed; it is his mom.)

Me: “Hi, what’s up?”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you? Are you in bed or are you with my son?”

Me: *so close to answering “both” to his extremely religious mother* “Um, uh, he’s here. Did you need to talk to him?”

Mother-In-Law: “Nope, he just left his phone here and didn’t say where he was going! Tell him I’ll see him when he gets home.” *hangs up*

Boyfriend: “And the award for the most awkward conversation starter ever goes to my mother!” *pauses* “I would have answered ‘yes.'”