PG Cussing For An R-Rated Movie

(Note: I am black, while my mother is white.)

Me: “Two to see [R-rated movie].”

Cashier: “You have to be at least 17 or have a parent to see R-rated movies.”

Me: “Well, I’m 19 and this is my mom.”

Cashier: “That isn’t your mom! She’s white and you aren’t!”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “White women can’t have black children.”

Me: “I’m adopted, you insensitive buttwipe! Now give me the tickets or I’ll take this up with the manager!”

(The cashier turns red and quickly finishes our transaction without making eye contact. My mother and I go to the theater and sit down.)

Mom: “…Buttwipe?”

Me: “Well, yeah. I’m not going to curse in front of my mother.”

Mom: “You make your mother proud.”