Persevering Pop Proves His Parking Point

(My dad goes to the bank one night to draw money out of the ATM. There are three spaces right up front, and a woman has parked her car sideways over two of them. My dad pulls into the third, effectively blocking her in, unless she wants to back up over the planter.)

Woman: *running from the ATM* “You can’t park there! You’re blocking me in!”

Dad: *shrugging* “I’m parked perfectly legally, inside the lines. It’s not my fault you parked across two spots and now can’t get out.”

Woman: “You have to move right now! I’m in a hurry.”

Dad: “Not my problem. You shouldn’t have parked like that.”

Woman: “But no one else was here!”

Dad: “Again, not my problem. You shouldn’t assume you’re the only person in the world and that no one else wants to use the ATM.”

(The woman continues shrieking at him, threatening to hit his car in order to get hers out, and he tells her he hopes she has really good insurance, since there are video cameras outside the bank that will show she deliberately hit his car.)

Woman: “I’m getting the security guard!”

Dad: “Great! Go for it.”

(He sits on a nearby bench and waits. The woman comes back with a security guard who patrols that lot at night.)

Guard: “Is that your car, sir?”

Dad: “Yes, it is.”

Woman: “Make him move it! I’m in a hurry!”

Guard: *to my dad* “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to move your car, sir?”

Dad: *grinning* “Not at the moment, no.”

Guard: *to the woman* “I’m sorry, ma’am; there’s nothing I can do. He’s legally parked in between the lines. He has every right to park there as a customer. You shouldn’t have parked the way you did.”

Woman: “BUT I WAS IN A HURRY!”

Dad: “And now you’re stuck. How’s that working out for you?”

Woman: *screaming* “I’m calling the police!”

Dad: “Great.”

(The woman walks away, presumably to go call the police.)

Guard: “You stay as long as you like, sir. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Dad: “Oh, I fully intend to. If she’d asked nicely I would have moved my car right away, but I could tell she thought she was better than everyone else, just by how she parked. I’m in no hurry.”

(The woman came back in tears, and Dad finally moved his car after she promised never to do it again. He said he felt like he made his point.)