Permanently Friend Zoned

(My ex and I are still friends, but for obvious reasons he tries to avoid mentioning his ongoing love life to me. I think he’s a bit extreme about this, and routinely ask him if he’s dating anyone, which he always avoids answering.)

Me: *on the phone* “So, do you want to hang out this weekend?”

Ex: “Well, I’m busy tonight, and I might be busy tomorrow. I’ll let you know.”

Me: “Are you doing something fun later?”

Ex: “Maybe. I don’t know if it’ll be fun yet.”

Me: *wheels turning in head* “Is it a date?”

Ex: “You might call it a date.”

Me: *pleased that he actually admitted it* “Well, I hope it goes well.”

(We meet up the next day.)

Me: “Hey, did you hear that [His Best Friend] was at [Local Brewery]’s anniversary party yesterday? He said it was awesome.”

Ex: “I know. I was there.”

Me: “Oh, you were with [His Best Friend]! That explains why you said you might call it a date…”