Pepperoni Pizza With A Side Of Pointless Paranoia

, , | Right | May 15, 2009

Me: “9-1-1. Police, fire, or ambulance?”

Caller: “Help! Please, God, help!”

Me: “Sir, what’s the emergency?”

Caller: “Someone’s trying to break into my house! Please, send the cops!”

Me: “Calm down… The police are well on the way as we are talking.”

Caller: “I don’t want to die! Oh, my God, why me?”

Me: “Sir, take a deep breath. Do you know this person?”

Caller: “Yeah. I ordered some pizza, I paid, and he gave it to me. I can see through the window it’s him… He’s pounding on my door trying to get in! Where are the cops?!”

Me: “Sir, I’ll stay on the phone with you if it makes you feel safer. Can you yell and ask what he wants?”

Caller: “Okay…” *yells toward the door* “What do you want, man?!”

Pizza Guy: *faintly, behind the door* “You forgot your change!”

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