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Pension Tension

, , , , , , , | Right | September 12, 2023

My department deals with account closures. A customer has recently passed, and I am calling her next of kin (her son) to discuss account closure and transference of funds.

Me: “And the matter of the pension payments your mother was receiving. The most recent payment went out yesterday, and that’s fine — we’re not chasing that or anything. It will be the last payment, though, so we should be safe to close the account.”

Customer’s Son: “Oh… the pension people know about Mama, huh?”

Me: “Yes, sir. She had arranged her pension with us also, so both departments became aware of her passing.”

Customer’s Son: “I was kind of hoping I could hold off on calling them.”

Me: *Knowing where this is going* “To what end, sir?”

Customer’s Son: “I wanted to get a few extra payments out of it before I told them.”

Me: “That’s not how it works, sir.”

Customer’s Son: “Could you… like… not pass along the memo for a few more months?”

Me: “They already know, and also, what you’re asking is committing fraud.”

Customer’s Son: “I’m not asking you to commit fraud! I’m just asking if you could keep my mother’s payments coming in a little bit longer!”

Me: “Yeah… that’s fraud.” 

Customer’s Son: “Ugh… even dead, she’s still a pain in my a**!” *Click*

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