The Pen Is Mightier Than The Bad Customer

(We have a regular who lives to be as difficult as possible, particularly toward younger women. He is old, runs some kind of business, and takes “the customer is always right” very seriously. I see him approach, he realizes I am not one of the older ladies or a manager, and his mood instantly sours. He glares for a long second before throwing two old lottery tickets on the counter.)

Customer: “Cash in and replay.”

(I cash his winning ticket and give him the money, then ring up the two tickets he had me remake.)

Me: “That’ll be $20.”

(The customer glares at me again for a long pause, like I’ve done something to personally insult him, before silently throwing a $100 bill on the counter. I check the bill with the counterfeit pen, pressing down hard since it’s running a bit low. We have to check every $100 and $50, no exceptions. It’s predictably fine, and I hand him his change.)

Me: “You’re all set.”

Customer: *still glaring daggers* “Give me your pen.”

(I hand him a writing pen, confused.)

Customer: “NO. Your other pen.”

Me: *raises eyebrow and hands him the counterfeit pen*

Customer: “Well, you checked me, didn’t you?”

(He proceeds to slowly swipe every bill of change. A line is building behind him, and the next customer looks just as incredulous as I feel. Every single bill is perfectly fine.)

Me: “We do check those.”

Customer: “I don’t know that!” *smugly slides the counterfeit pen back to me*

Me: *in the most sickly sweet voice I can manage* “Have a nice day!”

(He grumbled some reply, still acting like he really showed me, as he slowly vacated my counter. It’s something similar every time he comes in. Every single time. I just wonder who is going to finally snap. And if he’s this bad to cashiers, who just scan his items and give him change, I shudder to think what he puts waitresses through when he goes out to eat. I’m sure it’s awful.)