Paying Attention To Her Lack Of It

(My mum’s family are Irish and she has typical red hair and blue eyes. My dad’s family are Danish and he has their typical blond hair, blue eyes, and is very broad and tall. As a result I am quite tall, about 5’8″, blue eyed, and have strawberry blonde hair. Very strawberry blonde, almost apricot. I’m at work on the shop floor when I’m approached by a customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you help me please, dear? I have this basket but it’s quite heavy. Can I leave this stuff behind the counter, carry on shopping, and pay for it all together?”

Me: “Of course. Follow me and we’ll sort it all out.”

(I get everything out and hung up together, put a band around the hangers and a note on it.)

Me: “I just need your name so we know it’s yours when you come to pay.”

Customer: “Margaret. Thank you so much.”

(She then leaves and I carry on working. About 15 minutes later I happen to walk past the tills and I hear the customer and a colleague arguing.)

Customer: “She was about six feet tall with brown hair. She put all the stuff together and wrote my name on a piece of paper.”

Colleague: “I understand; however, firstly, we don’t have anyone by that description working for us, and secondly, the only items I have here like that you’ve already told me they aren’t yours.”

(I go over to help.)

Me: “Hi, have you come to get the rest of your items?”

Customer: “Yes, please, dear.”

(I run everything through the till and the customer pays. She then looks at my colleague.)

Customer: “I told you! Six feet tall with brown hair!”

Me: “I did write your name on it, see?” *points out ‘Margaret’*

Customer: “Oh, everyone calls me Peggy. Only my grandmother called me Margaret and she’s been dead for about 60 years.”

(She then turns to my colleague.)

Customer: “You need to pay attention, young lady.”

(As she’s walking away my colleague calls after her.)

Colleague: “I’m a man. My name is William. It says it on my badge!”

(He then turns to me with a look of utter defeat.)

Colleague: “I’m going on my break. When I get back I may be drunk!”