Patio-No-No

A woman walks up to me at the host stand:

Customer: “[Name], reservation for four.”

Me: “I see that, but you didn’t mention you’d be bringing children.”

I count four adult women and six kids in strollers.

Customer: “Oh, you can squeeze in a few small kids. It’ll be fine. We want a seat on the patio.”

Me: “The patio is small, and we have one table that can accommodate six at the most.”

Customer: “We can make it work.”

I bring them outside and show them the table.

Customer: “Well, this four-seater here can be moved next to this one, and—”

Me: “—I’m afraid I can’t do that. The tables have heavy marble tops, and the umbrellas going through the middle of the table have stone block bases. They’re too heavy for us to move.”

Customer: “You’re not even going to try? Get someone to help you! What about moving that other table? That doesn’t have an umbrella!”

Me: “Also, as per county fire code, there needs to be a four-foot fire lane between here and the exit. We can’t move any of these tables.

Customer: “Hmph. Fine. Bring us six highchairs.”

Me: “They will not fit, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well then, we’ll go back and get the strollers from the front.”

Me: “Then they’ll be blocking the four-foot fire lane. You can’t bring them onto the patio.”

Customer: “You’re not being very accommodating! Get your manager!”

My manager steps outside and is brought up to speed.

Manager: “Everything that has been said by [My Name] is correct.”

Customer: “So there’s nothing you can do for us?”

Manager: “There is! I can advise you that in the future, when making a booking for four people, do not bring ten.”

It was really funny watching four moms hold six kids while eating dinner! Most fun I’ve had on a Sunday night in a while!