Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2

(I’m working at a going-out-of-business sale, during which there’s a ‘All Sales Final, NO Returns’ policy. A customer approaches the register with a box full of pipe fittings. He starts placing them on the counter.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right today, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m not buying these. I’m returning them.”

Me: *pointing to sign right next to me* “Sir, we do not take returns anymore.”

Customer: “Well, you’re f***ing taking these. I bought these and was told any unused ones can be returned. Now I want my money back!”

Me: “Sir, these aren’t even a brand we carry at this store.”

Customer: “Don’t f***ing talk to me! Hurry up and do your job.”

Me: “Sir, even if I could take returns, I don’t see a receipt for these items. When did you say you bought these?”

Customer: “Like, 3 months ago. You’re f***ing useless! Where’s your manager?”

(I grab my manager and explain the situation to him.)

Manager: *to customer* “So, let me get this straight. You’re returning a product that we never supplied three months after you supposedly bought them, with no proof of purchase, when we do not allow returns?”

Customer: “This is bulls***! I’ve been a loyal customer here for 23 f***ing years! You can’t just throw me out!”

Manager: “Sir, my name is on the building, and I’ve run this place since 1982. I’ve never seen you before in my life. So I suggest you get out now before I call the police.”

(The customer grabbed his box, muttered some swear words under his breath, and stormed out.)