The Party Can Only Hold 9-12 Inches

(I’m a male server and nearly all of my direct coworkers are women. I’m also a Christian and this is no secret to anyone I work with. While at work in the server station at my restaurant, one of my coworkers is discussing plans for a get-together with a few of the other servers. Foolishly, I ask what they’ll be doing.)

Coworker: *with defiance* “I’m hosting a sex toy party.”

(This produces the immediate image in my mind of middle-aged women sitting around in a circle, sharing and discussing various dildos. It’s such an unsettling picture that I guess I noticeably wince.)

Coworker: *reacting* “You know what, Church Boy? There’s nothing wrong with sex! It’s what people do! Maybe if you’d bother taking that Jesus stick out of your a** you’d learn some things about life!”

(A defensive argument could have ensued but I kept responses to myself and went back to work.)